I hope you are able to leave ASAP. It will be interesting to see how pre-ex-wife manages when you’re no longer around as whipping boy & servant. You may not be able to resist helping w/ the kids but you should - & every time you’re “unavailable”, remind her this was SOLELY & cruelly HER idea
What ever she has planned the kid’s lives are going to crash and I am certain her’s too once I am gone. She plans to hire a house keeper and that will cover much of what I do but nothing as late as it needs to be done. No house keeper is going to wait around until The Kid finishes dinner and everyone has bathed to start washes the dishes shortly before midnight on cram school nights. No one other than she is going to be able to pick The Kid up at 9:30 pm three nights a week. House keepers won’t be cleaning the cat’s litter boxes manor feeding and watering them, at least I doubt it. And, she just resigned from PF having finally landed a position in a new company at which she starts next month.
It going to get bad soon, very bad soon. Her mother is suffering from a mysterious heart condition. That’s all I know, but I suspect it is caused by the clot shot. She is now so weak in the voice that just two days ago I heard that she has dropped out of the local chorus, if which she was a long term member. I fear she is not long for this world, so there will be no hope of assistance from her mother. As her father will then be living alone, preexwife will most likely have to look after him too. As with my barber whose situation parallels mine, I wonder how I came to be so repulsive that I should be cast out at all but especially under the circumstances.
If she contacts me after I am out requesting assistance, I already have a question for her, “Why is it that you are the only one who doesn’t have to suffer the consequences of your decisions?”
Once again, she is being the control freak and dictating everything according to what’s best for her. Staying longer will only make your relationship with both kid and wife worse(if that’s possible) Leaving asap, long before January will at least put you firmly back in control of your destiny and might shock her so much that she might even come around to actually talking over things on your terms as she can no longer order you around or threaten you with anything. Even if not, the situation is no worse for you. In fact, the sooner you make a break for it and make a new start, the better it will be for you. The kid might even benefit by the fact that they only have one parent and they will be forced to get along with them as you will no longer be there to play off of.
No matter which way you look at this, it’s a tragic and sad situation and all of your emotional energy has been focussed on this relationship for so long, there will be a huge void. But it can’t be any worse once you’ve made that final move and most likely that void will be filled far sooner than you can image.
Things can always get worse. But I agree, the earlier I get out here the better. Have contacted two realtors and will be contacting more soon. I have been searching on my own too.
If they treat you that way, why don't you just leave and come back to the United States. Haven't you suffered enough there? We know a man that now is in an assisted living healthcare facility. He had his own business. His wife said he was working too much. She wanted him to leave the house. So, he found a house nearby. They have two middle aged boys. So, he shares the responsibility of taking them to school, etc. He was also taking care of his parents. Now, we find out that he has to give up his so loved business. He is in an assisted health facility recuperating from exhaustion, etc. Now, it looks like he has to sell his house and move in with his parents.
Returning to the US is the eventual outcome of this, which I doubt preexwife realizes despite being told that is the case. I have contacts, both legal and social that I do which to honor. I also do not want to abandon a life time of personal effects I have accumulated. The house I am typing this inside of was to by my last residence. Over the years I brought and had sent over many things I had before marriage. additionally, when I do move back, I will be moving back into my parent’s home where I will have to stay for quite some before I can reestablish myself in the States after 25 years living in Japan.
Just my opinion, but I don't see how hanging around Japan and putting your new life further on hold (and expending monies to rent a place) *merely* to try to earn enough money to ship back "stuff" (such as an old desk) is worth the time and effort. If Japan is not for your old age, then the sooner you get back to the US, the easier for you to find a job, take care of your responsibilities as a son, and meet new people who can be more of a caring family than you've got now. Your "stuff" can possibly be stored by a friend at his or her place, and then over time, you'll find out once you're back in the US that "stuff" isn't as important as you thought it was. You can acquire new stuff in the US. I'll send you one -- an original Kuniyoshi from the Estate of Robert O. Muller.
This MAY be a difference between men and women. Many items have specific memories attached to them. I can pick up an item from my distant past and like depicted in movies, my mind is filled with memories of when and where I acquired it and most importantly, the people I was with. Occasionally, long lost memories are thus restored. As this was to be my last residence, I brought over my navy coffee mugs from my time in the canoe club. Each has my name, rank and ship’s badge on them. I have incense stands that I bought during my time here in college that have made the trip across the pond more than once and have been used in my apartments in Japan and in the US as well as my familiy’s home. Most books I will will ditch but the museum catalogues of exhibits I went to will hard to part with, especially those The Kid and I went to. My one and only US Navy Cruise book. My navy uniforms. My antique travel desks will be hard to part with as well. The hardest are my negatives. I was once an avid amateur photographer and have a lot of negatives and now digital storage devices that are heavy and take up space. Wall art purchased all over the world during my travels with the navy and since. My camera equipment. Fountain pens and assorted paraphernalia for them. Will have to ditch the ink, much of it rare, as we can not longer ship or bring it to the US. My handmade kendo armor. Urushi, (Japanese lacquer) and pottery sake cups. The antique travel desks I would indeed hate to part with but would sell at this moment if I could. Thanks to FATCA, I have no access to the market interested in such things. Could sell them in the States though. Same with many of my pens. Last night I took down a hand made latch hook piece made by my maternal grandmother in a frame made by my grandfather and put it a drawer as it has no place here now and I do not want to forget it. Silver spoons and cups from my family that have been passed down at least a couple generations that were gifts to my kids. Family heirloom Christmas ornaments. Not leaving these here with people who have no appreciation for them, and not going to be the one that let them out of the family unless I must take to a life boat and leave everything.
Things can often be replaced, the memories they store cannot.
I don't know if it's a difference between men and women, but for me, I adore history in general (I almost became a history prof instead of a lit prof), but I don't like to live in my own past, or dwell on it. When my husband ditched my 2-year-old son and me (after 7 years of marriage) for his secret girlfriend (whom he unsuccessfully tried to continue to keep secret once he filed for divorce, and whom he eventually married but then ditched for yet another secret girlfriend a decade later, lol), I purposefully got rid of all "stuff" from the time before I met the ex and up to the divorce. I started all anew and wanted no reminders.
Unlike most people and tourists who snap photos everywhere they go instead of actually BEING IN THE MOMENT AND REALLY LOOKING AT WHAT THEY'RE VIEWING THROUGH A CAMERA LENS, I never bring a camera along on a holiday. I figure that if the emotion is strong enough when I am experiencing "life," I will remember it. I'm older than you are, and I have yet to regret not taking photos of my experiences. And when I die, no one will want any photos of mine anyway.
Photos are my memory. A large part of it anyway. I also do not wish to erase a full quarter century of memories, one half of my life, my entire adulthood just because the woman I married was good enough of an actress to hide her true nature for the 2 and 1/2 years were dated before we wed.
But our situations are different. Your child stayed with you, I will not be seeing mine again once I depart Japan. I had experiences with the preexwife that I would likely not have had with any other. At any rate, I had them with her and no other. It was not all bad, and mostly great in the early years, though even then big issues first emerged.
Also, I will not be starting anew in the US. I will be returning to my high school existence. In the same house with my parents wondering what I want to do with my life with nothing to show for almost 30 years abroad if I abandon all I have here. At least I’ll have stuff to sell to a market interested in such things with out the roadblocks and intrusions the US places upon its diaspora. Living as a 17 year old at 55 is to be avoided if at all possible. Rather go down with the ship, frankly.
This definitely sounds like a dysfunctional relationship.
I don't know what I would do in a similar situation. My thing is that I never had a wife and a child, so working things out and making compromises is not something I have had to deal with to such an extreme.
Part of the problem here is the perceived power dynamic. She is the one with most of the money and so that really effects the dynamic here. She can decide when you stay and leave. I would have stated when she said "if you are leaving." She treats you as if you are the stepfather, and the truth is, if its also your flesh and blood, you have equal say regardless of the financial stakes in the game.
"Let's get things straight here, maybe even get it written down, it's not "if" but "when." You have stated you want me to go, so I am going. I would rather work on the relationship and get it right, but you want me to go."
I have a number of friends that also have given me some advice over the years on women. One of them is "do you want to be right or happy." I had a version of that advice at one point but it was more along the lines of "there is being right, and then there is loving someone."
It's good that you are making the decision yourself on when to leave, because it really sucks when you don't have a plan. And on your end, it really sounds like a toxic relationship.
I think we passed dysfunctional years ago and are well within a malfunctional relationship. We had the, "Let's get things straight here, maybe even get it written down, it's not "if" but "when." You have stated you want me to go, so I am going. I would rather work on the relationship and get it right, but you want me to go.”, conversation which was ended my her saying she would take me court if I didn’t go. I have wasted no more time on this line of action since then.
Sounds like your wife is teaching your children how to treat you. That's not nice at all.
My Brother got divorced. His ex-wife remarried. She was always causing trouble. With him and our whole family. One problem was that her family and my family never got along. It was a terrible situation all those years. The 2 boys are grown now. Their
Father passed at 65 (9/5/23) of myocarditis. Why? Because, his older son insisted that he take the Covid Jab to see his grandson. That nephew and his wife never talked to us for 3 years, because of Covid argument. His wife always hated our family. So, she was happy about that. We were treated no different at my Brother's church service. His wife told us, if we came to their house, she would call the police. His wife is a
horrible person. They didn't even treat us like family at the service. Then after
the passing of my Brother, his son's wife told him that she was seeing another man. So now there are living under the same roof. My nephew said that we have to keep it
together so now their seven year old son doesn't have a mixed up life. Unfortunately, my nephew hasn't treated me much better since their Father passed.
I'm still waiting for some things that I wanted to remember my Brother by, but
never got much. I have to ask him to send pictures of my great nephew. He never would even call me. It's lucky he texts' a picture of his son to me. The other son lives in
another State. He at least calls. But, this year sent an Easter card. But, he didn't send me a Birthday card which he always does every year. I give and gave them money. I guess I'm just their hit or miss Aunt. I hope your situation turns out in your favor.
My relationship with the in-laws has always been very good. At least on the surface. Not sure if it ran deep or not. Covid did destroy the relationship ship with the younger brother. With whom I had gotten along with the best. Before covid, preexwife’s parents were much a part of he kids lives, not know. Even after the covid panic calmed down, they still wear masks outside and at the now rare visits. I think the kids have seen their grandmother just once since New Years and their grand father not once since then. They live down the street from us.
She has taught The Kid to treat me horribly, a lesson they have taken to heart. So too has she taught them that if they attack their mother, they get what they want. Long before the panic, I was asking myself why I was sticking around when I was not allowed to correct The Kid’s course to self destruction. The answer now seems to be because I was a damned fool.
Covid definitely was a breaking point for a lot of families. But I also thing we've had a social contract sea change since social media has entered into our lives.
Yeah, and asking her to stop fooling herself by using the word "if" won't make things much better on that front.
I think your going to find out that the more you plan your egress or exit from their lives the better you will feel. It's going to be hard, scary, and very rewarding. I see it as a entry into all sorts of opportunities.
Not so sure on the opportunities front. Hard for 55 year males anywhere to find new jobs. However, the loss of the restrictions on hours that family life imposes upon me has already open up some. Just not have to deal with the third degree over each and every action I take will be a relief akin to removing a stone from a shoe. Money is a massive concern though.
I agree with you, its hard to find work at all. And this is another cultural shift. It probably would have been easier to get another job when your father turned 55 than when we did. Then again, who knows. When my dad was alive, you didn't shift jobs that much at all. You had that weird, stereotypical retirement.
My dad was out of work in his 50s and had a very hard time finding work. I will back in the same town in the US but with a worse economic condition in that blue State. Another reason to hang on here for as long as possible.
I believe it would be easier for you to find a job in the US at 55 than at 60. Why wait? You also might find a decent woman for friendship and otherwise. Many divorced or widowed women own homes. Join a church. As many women know, good men are scarce, and most churchgoers 50 and over are women. I'm still amazed at the number of divorced and widowed people in their 60s and 70s who remarry a fellow church member here in my small town.
There are specialty burger joints in Tokyo, or at least were. Have been to few since getting married, they we used to frequent them while dating…funny that. Failing these, as in they didn’t survive the panic, Carl’s Jr. in Akihabara is good for a chain store.
Looks like you are going to need my moving services. Let me know.
Yep. Will do.
In the mean time, when and where for a burger meet?
Bronze Grill in Hatchinoe!
Sounds great but quite the trek from Tokyo.
Now you're talking. I will have to check my schedule and let you know. I can definitely make some room for a burger.
Have a place in mind?
I will check it out. A s long as they have hamburgers, I am flexible about the location.
Yikes!
I only "liked" the post to show moral support for you, Kitsune.
Be Careful!!
Thanks.
I hope you are able to leave ASAP. It will be interesting to see how pre-ex-wife manages when you’re no longer around as whipping boy & servant. You may not be able to resist helping w/ the kids but you should - & every time you’re “unavailable”, remind her this was SOLELY & cruelly HER idea
What ever she has planned the kid’s lives are going to crash and I am certain her’s too once I am gone. She plans to hire a house keeper and that will cover much of what I do but nothing as late as it needs to be done. No house keeper is going to wait around until The Kid finishes dinner and everyone has bathed to start washes the dishes shortly before midnight on cram school nights. No one other than she is going to be able to pick The Kid up at 9:30 pm three nights a week. House keepers won’t be cleaning the cat’s litter boxes manor feeding and watering them, at least I doubt it. And, she just resigned from PF having finally landed a position in a new company at which she starts next month.
It going to get bad soon, very bad soon. Her mother is suffering from a mysterious heart condition. That’s all I know, but I suspect it is caused by the clot shot. She is now so weak in the voice that just two days ago I heard that she has dropped out of the local chorus, if which she was a long term member. I fear she is not long for this world, so there will be no hope of assistance from her mother. As her father will then be living alone, preexwife will most likely have to look after him too. As with my barber whose situation parallels mine, I wonder how I came to be so repulsive that I should be cast out at all but especially under the circumstances.
If she contacts me after I am out requesting assistance, I already have a question for her, “Why is it that you are the only one who doesn’t have to suffer the consequences of your decisions?”
Given all of the crap that they are giving you, I would absolutely refuse to be called upon for help, when it inevitably goes tits up.
This entire situation must have been horribly stressful, but their actions now make the decision easier and hopefully take some of the pain out of it.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Yes, I will not be offering aid IF she even asks, which her pride may keep her form doing.
Mentally and emotionally, I do not feel the stress but I sure do physically.
Once again, she is being the control freak and dictating everything according to what’s best for her. Staying longer will only make your relationship with both kid and wife worse(if that’s possible) Leaving asap, long before January will at least put you firmly back in control of your destiny and might shock her so much that she might even come around to actually talking over things on your terms as she can no longer order you around or threaten you with anything. Even if not, the situation is no worse for you. In fact, the sooner you make a break for it and make a new start, the better it will be for you. The kid might even benefit by the fact that they only have one parent and they will be forced to get along with them as you will no longer be there to play off of.
No matter which way you look at this, it’s a tragic and sad situation and all of your emotional energy has been focussed on this relationship for so long, there will be a huge void. But it can’t be any worse once you’ve made that final move and most likely that void will be filled far sooner than you can image.
Things can always get worse. But I agree, the earlier I get out here the better. Have contacted two realtors and will be contacting more soon. I have been searching on my own too.
Check your proton.
If they treat you that way, why don't you just leave and come back to the United States. Haven't you suffered enough there? We know a man that now is in an assisted living healthcare facility. He had his own business. His wife said he was working too much. She wanted him to leave the house. So, he found a house nearby. They have two middle aged boys. So, he shares the responsibility of taking them to school, etc. He was also taking care of his parents. Now, we find out that he has to give up his so loved business. He is in an assisted health facility recuperating from exhaustion, etc. Now, it looks like he has to sell his house and move in with his parents.
Returning to the US is the eventual outcome of this, which I doubt preexwife realizes despite being told that is the case. I have contacts, both legal and social that I do which to honor. I also do not want to abandon a life time of personal effects I have accumulated. The house I am typing this inside of was to by my last residence. Over the years I brought and had sent over many things I had before marriage. additionally, when I do move back, I will be moving back into my parent’s home where I will have to stay for quite some before I can reestablish myself in the States after 25 years living in Japan.
Just my opinion, but I don't see how hanging around Japan and putting your new life further on hold (and expending monies to rent a place) *merely* to try to earn enough money to ship back "stuff" (such as an old desk) is worth the time and effort. If Japan is not for your old age, then the sooner you get back to the US, the easier for you to find a job, take care of your responsibilities as a son, and meet new people who can be more of a caring family than you've got now. Your "stuff" can possibly be stored by a friend at his or her place, and then over time, you'll find out once you're back in the US that "stuff" isn't as important as you thought it was. You can acquire new stuff in the US. I'll send you one -- an original Kuniyoshi from the Estate of Robert O. Muller.
This MAY be a difference between men and women. Many items have specific memories attached to them. I can pick up an item from my distant past and like depicted in movies, my mind is filled with memories of when and where I acquired it and most importantly, the people I was with. Occasionally, long lost memories are thus restored. As this was to be my last residence, I brought over my navy coffee mugs from my time in the canoe club. Each has my name, rank and ship’s badge on them. I have incense stands that I bought during my time here in college that have made the trip across the pond more than once and have been used in my apartments in Japan and in the US as well as my familiy’s home. Most books I will will ditch but the museum catalogues of exhibits I went to will hard to part with, especially those The Kid and I went to. My one and only US Navy Cruise book. My navy uniforms. My antique travel desks will be hard to part with as well. The hardest are my negatives. I was once an avid amateur photographer and have a lot of negatives and now digital storage devices that are heavy and take up space. Wall art purchased all over the world during my travels with the navy and since. My camera equipment. Fountain pens and assorted paraphernalia for them. Will have to ditch the ink, much of it rare, as we can not longer ship or bring it to the US. My handmade kendo armor. Urushi, (Japanese lacquer) and pottery sake cups. The antique travel desks I would indeed hate to part with but would sell at this moment if I could. Thanks to FATCA, I have no access to the market interested in such things. Could sell them in the States though. Same with many of my pens. Last night I took down a hand made latch hook piece made by my maternal grandmother in a frame made by my grandfather and put it a drawer as it has no place here now and I do not want to forget it. Silver spoons and cups from my family that have been passed down at least a couple generations that were gifts to my kids. Family heirloom Christmas ornaments. Not leaving these here with people who have no appreciation for them, and not going to be the one that let them out of the family unless I must take to a life boat and leave everything.
Things can often be replaced, the memories they store cannot.
I don't know if it's a difference between men and women, but for me, I adore history in general (I almost became a history prof instead of a lit prof), but I don't like to live in my own past, or dwell on it. When my husband ditched my 2-year-old son and me (after 7 years of marriage) for his secret girlfriend (whom he unsuccessfully tried to continue to keep secret once he filed for divorce, and whom he eventually married but then ditched for yet another secret girlfriend a decade later, lol), I purposefully got rid of all "stuff" from the time before I met the ex and up to the divorce. I started all anew and wanted no reminders.
Unlike most people and tourists who snap photos everywhere they go instead of actually BEING IN THE MOMENT AND REALLY LOOKING AT WHAT THEY'RE VIEWING THROUGH A CAMERA LENS, I never bring a camera along on a holiday. I figure that if the emotion is strong enough when I am experiencing "life," I will remember it. I'm older than you are, and I have yet to regret not taking photos of my experiences. And when I die, no one will want any photos of mine anyway.
Photos are my memory. A large part of it anyway. I also do not wish to erase a full quarter century of memories, one half of my life, my entire adulthood just because the woman I married was good enough of an actress to hide her true nature for the 2 and 1/2 years were dated before we wed.
But our situations are different. Your child stayed with you, I will not be seeing mine again once I depart Japan. I had experiences with the preexwife that I would likely not have had with any other. At any rate, I had them with her and no other. It was not all bad, and mostly great in the early years, though even then big issues first emerged.
Also, I will not be starting anew in the US. I will be returning to my high school existence. In the same house with my parents wondering what I want to do with my life with nothing to show for almost 30 years abroad if I abandon all I have here. At least I’ll have stuff to sell to a market interested in such things with out the roadblocks and intrusions the US places upon its diaspora. Living as a 17 year old at 55 is to be avoided if at all possible. Rather go down with the ship, frankly.
This definitely sounds like a dysfunctional relationship.
I don't know what I would do in a similar situation. My thing is that I never had a wife and a child, so working things out and making compromises is not something I have had to deal with to such an extreme.
Part of the problem here is the perceived power dynamic. She is the one with most of the money and so that really effects the dynamic here. She can decide when you stay and leave. I would have stated when she said "if you are leaving." She treats you as if you are the stepfather, and the truth is, if its also your flesh and blood, you have equal say regardless of the financial stakes in the game.
"Let's get things straight here, maybe even get it written down, it's not "if" but "when." You have stated you want me to go, so I am going. I would rather work on the relationship and get it right, but you want me to go."
I have a number of friends that also have given me some advice over the years on women. One of them is "do you want to be right or happy." I had a version of that advice at one point but it was more along the lines of "there is being right, and then there is loving someone."
It's good that you are making the decision yourself on when to leave, because it really sucks when you don't have a plan. And on your end, it really sounds like a toxic relationship.
I think we passed dysfunctional years ago and are well within a malfunctional relationship. We had the, "Let's get things straight here, maybe even get it written down, it's not "if" but "when." You have stated you want me to go, so I am going. I would rather work on the relationship and get it right, but you want me to go.”, conversation which was ended my her saying she would take me court if I didn’t go. I have wasted no more time on this line of action since then.
Sounds like your wife is teaching your children how to treat you. That's not nice at all.
My Brother got divorced. His ex-wife remarried. She was always causing trouble. With him and our whole family. One problem was that her family and my family never got along. It was a terrible situation all those years. The 2 boys are grown now. Their
Father passed at 65 (9/5/23) of myocarditis. Why? Because, his older son insisted that he take the Covid Jab to see his grandson. That nephew and his wife never talked to us for 3 years, because of Covid argument. His wife always hated our family. So, she was happy about that. We were treated no different at my Brother's church service. His wife told us, if we came to their house, she would call the police. His wife is a
horrible person. They didn't even treat us like family at the service. Then after
the passing of my Brother, his son's wife told him that she was seeing another man. So now there are living under the same roof. My nephew said that we have to keep it
together so now their seven year old son doesn't have a mixed up life. Unfortunately, my nephew hasn't treated me much better since their Father passed.
I'm still waiting for some things that I wanted to remember my Brother by, but
never got much. I have to ask him to send pictures of my great nephew. He never would even call me. It's lucky he texts' a picture of his son to me. The other son lives in
another State. He at least calls. But, this year sent an Easter card. But, he didn't send me a Birthday card which he always does every year. I give and gave them money. I guess I'm just their hit or miss Aunt. I hope your situation turns out in your favor.
Yikes. What a nightmare.
My relationship with the in-laws has always been very good. At least on the surface. Not sure if it ran deep or not. Covid did destroy the relationship ship with the younger brother. With whom I had gotten along with the best. Before covid, preexwife’s parents were much a part of he kids lives, not know. Even after the covid panic calmed down, they still wear masks outside and at the now rare visits. I think the kids have seen their grandmother just once since New Years and their grand father not once since then. They live down the street from us.
She has taught The Kid to treat me horribly, a lesson they have taken to heart. So too has she taught them that if they attack their mother, they get what they want. Long before the panic, I was asking myself why I was sticking around when I was not allowed to correct The Kid’s course to self destruction. The answer now seems to be because I was a damned fool.
Covid definitely was a breaking point for a lot of families. But I also thing we've had a social contract sea change since social media has entered into our lives.
Right....That's for sure.
I think so too, to a degree we are not yet able to fathom.
Yeah, and asking her to stop fooling herself by using the word "if" won't make things much better on that front.
I think your going to find out that the more you plan your egress or exit from their lives the better you will feel. It's going to be hard, scary, and very rewarding. I see it as a entry into all sorts of opportunities.
Not so sure on the opportunities front. Hard for 55 year males anywhere to find new jobs. However, the loss of the restrictions on hours that family life imposes upon me has already open up some. Just not have to deal with the third degree over each and every action I take will be a relief akin to removing a stone from a shoe. Money is a massive concern though.
I agree with you, its hard to find work at all. And this is another cultural shift. It probably would have been easier to get another job when your father turned 55 than when we did. Then again, who knows. When my dad was alive, you didn't shift jobs that much at all. You had that weird, stereotypical retirement.
My dad was out of work in his 50s and had a very hard time finding work. I will back in the same town in the US but with a worse economic condition in that blue State. Another reason to hang on here for as long as possible.
One job you could get..or at least a side hustle when returning to the states is a fountain pen salesman.
I believe it would be easier for you to find a job in the US at 55 than at 60. Why wait? You also might find a decent woman for friendship and otherwise. Many divorced or widowed women own homes. Join a church. As many women know, good men are scarce, and most churchgoers 50 and over are women. I'm still amazed at the number of divorced and widowed people in their 60s and 70s who remarry a fellow church member here in my small town.
I agree.
There are specialty burger joints in Tokyo, or at least were. Have been to few since getting married, they we used to frequent them while dating…funny that. Failing these, as in they didn’t survive the panic, Carl’s Jr. in Akihabara is good for a chain store.