Replaced

Who needs a man in the house when there is the internet?

One of the many questions I asked the preexwife when she made the title official was how was she going to take of our four cats and a boy entering adolescence on her own. Her verbal reply was to blame me for us having 4 cats. However, she dealt with the issue of the cats quickly. Soon after I started living alone, she bought a robotic, self cleaning litter box. As Honey Badger can attest, it stunk to high heaven during the move of my bed and dresser. Overhearing my son explaining the device to his grandmother on Christmas Eve, they had set it up improperly but once set correctly, it no longer smelled, which is now evident. They also have a water fountain for the cats and I think an auto feeder. With my son either in bed or on the toilet and preexwife in the den, where the cats are not allowed, I wonder if they are getting the attention they need and deserve. I have my doubts.

When I took my son out for sushi the other night, he asked me to tech him how to tie a next tie. He will be required to wear a school uniform starting in April and a necktie is part of it. This is one of the things I despaired at being denied teaching him. I still remember my dad teaching me how to tie a neck tie, so I was thrilled to be asked and able to. I sent a message asking him when he wanted me to teach him. As with all since the earliest days,no response though I can see that he saw the message.

On Saturday I brought over anther load of my stuff and while at the house asked him about it. He had already learned how. His mother found a video online and he learned with it. Heart broken. Not surprised though. Even before the panic, humanity was moving towards preferirng long distance human interaction through gadgets over in person communication and covid forced it upon all of us, hard. Students as old as my freshman college students prefer asking AI for answers than to learn anything, especially from another human. Funny, humanity doesn’t trust itself but puts 100% faith in its inventions and toys. Additionally, as I look back on the past few years, it seems that the preexwife was working to limit my time with our son. Her preference of anyone else other than myself to teach him anything is not a surprise.

Last Saturday night, they went out for karaoke with his uncle. I have long had concerns over preexwife’s eldest brother. He lost his kids when they were very young to divorce and took what was to me an uncomfortable interest in my son. They speaking the same language, my son always seemed to prefer his company over my own. His uncle also spoils him. Not with treats but with over indulgence, he too will not say “No.”, to my son.

In 2018 my wife was given a month paid vacation and $5,000 from her employer to take the family on a trip. This is a common feature of “regular”employment with a Japanese corporation. After a certain number of years of employment, the number differing by employer, employees are given time and money for a family trip. For her then employer it was 15 years. Her eldest brother was working for a government program in Chile so she planned on going there. Quite the donnybrook erupted in the Kitsune den when I learned that she planned on taking our son on his first overseas trip without me. Instead of her husband and her son’s father, she was going to take her mother. In the end, she decided to include me and the trip would be my birthday gift for that year. Later though,after my birthday passed, she decided that gI had to pay her back. This is the one debt I had yet to repay by the start of 2020.

On the chile trip, I was quite literally, a 5th wheel. She had already made reservations for highway busses and the like for 4 people. When she later made reservations for me, there were no seats available that were near them. They sat up front Nd I in the back of the bus. My uncle joked around with my son who laughed and yelled loudly to the annoyance to the rest of the bus passengers. Luckily I was near enough on the tour bus around Parque Nacional Torres Del Paine to hear the conversation for if I wasn’t, I believe my son would have died soon after stepping off the bus. The tour we booked included a hike part way up the mountains but was cancelled due to high winds. According to the park service, a hiker was blown off the mountain to their death shortly before we were to depart on our hike. Even at the base, the wind was crazy.

As we were disembarking at a scenic overlook that was a narrow ledge that sloped down towards the cliff edge with no railing, my brother-in-law told my then 4 year old son that he could take his stuffed sheep he was given the day before with him. I said “No.”, as it was too windy. The likelihood of my son loosing grip on his toy and the wind taking it easily and he trying to chase it with both going over the edge with the help of the wind that just blew an adult off the mountain was far too great to chance it. Of course, to the four Japanese members of our group, I was the bad guy. From this point on, my son has preferred his uncle over me and over the past couple of years, his mother has encouraged this. I have long felt that my brother-in-law sought to replace his lost son with mine, and thus I with him as the father figure in my son’s life.

When my son was younger, we were taking a family trip and boarding the train with my wife’s aunt who was visiting. I overheard her say to my wife that there was no need to keep me around as they, her family could easily help with raising my son. She had always treated me very well. She attended our wedding in the States. I have stayed at her home many times, including once without my wife who was oversaw on business and I went to a family funeral on my wife’s behalf. Surely, she was joking. She made no effort to hide her comment as I was standing right there.

Regardless of intent, the replacement is complete.