Small World

Stumbling upon haunted ground.

Even the recently displaced from the most populous city in the world, Tokyo, is small. Not a new revelation. 30 years ago as a college student in the city I learned that it often is faster to walk between certain subway stations than it is to take the train. The time it takes to climb down the stairs to the station and then to the platform and then up again at your destination station can take more time than just walking, especially when the travel time of the train and wait time are added.

This time, it is a bit more painful. A previous boss offered me a position at his new med school. A long awaited event, he being a good person to work for, it took a while for an opening. Finally, there was an opening and I jumped at the chance. Upon arrival at the station the first time, my ghost locating sensors were tingling. Across the street from where I exited to the street level is a park and I immediately wondered if it was THE park.

Eight years ago, my wife learned that there was a big Christmas Market in Tokyo and we all were looking forward to going. I arranged with my then Friday afternoon boss to do the usual end of the week paperwork later and my wife and I both were able to leave early to pick up our son early and go to the market.

Though I cannot think what it could be, even at 4, my son had stuff he had to do before we could leave. May have been just put his daycare school stuff away. Could have been homework, too, as his mother has been shoving papers in front of him to write upon since he was young. Whatever it was, he wouldn’t do it, instead he just lay on the floor saying how much he was looking forward to the Christmas Market, how wonderful it was going to be, how he couldn’t wait to go….but refused to get ready to go to it. Bizarre behavior to say the least, the first time he demonstrated such and I thought then that this could be an indication of a behavior problem that needed to be addressed. Reasoning with him that we could go as soon as he did whatever it was he had to do had no effect. He just laid there talking about going but would not prepare to go. Eventually, he wasted so much time that his mother and I need not have left work early as the time he would normally have been picked up and brought home passed.

Hours later than we planned to go, his mom gave an ultimatum, he had to complete his tasks by a given time or we are not going. No change in his behavior, the deadline passed and she announced that we were not going. Disappointed, but knew these days would come. I had long ago learned that parents either put up with such behavior for an intense but short time by standing firm or have to deal with this until the kid leaves if the give in. I went up stairs to the den and began working on something, perhaps the put off paperwork from that afternoon.

My son is now screaming and wailing because we are not going. Not unexpected. I had been working for, I don’t know, half an hour or so when my wife comes up stairs and tells me to grab my coat, we are going to the Christmas Market. “No.” I exclaimed in disbelief. “You cannot give in or he will will learn that you threats behave no meaning.” I told her. She said that then was not the time and to grab my coat.

We talked afterwards, I told her that his behavior before going may indicate a problem and that we needed to seek professional help to find out and begin fixing it, if found to be a problem, soon or it will be very painful for all involved to attempt to do so when he was older. She said there was plenty of time. Help was never sought. A true watershed moment for my family.

Eight years later and The Kid knows that all he need do is outlast mommy’s patience with his tantrums and she’ll give in.

As suspected, this park is in fact where the Christmas Market is held each year, including this year. Though, I am certain it was cancelled during the panic.