SNAFU

Do Not Blame Malice When Incompetence Will Answer

We tend to hold our leaders, both civil and military, in higher esteem than they as a whole, deserve. We assign to them a level of competence and a degree of dedication that few mortals could ever hope to attain if they even desired to put in the effort to do so, and few do.

Am I wrong in my belief that any who have worked any job have worked with or for some who we wonder how they kept the jobs? You know, the type who perpetually leave work they were to finish during their shift for the next shift to do. How about those who come in drunk, hung over, sleepy or high? Those who somehow figure out how to fauci up a wet dream?

Have we not all heard the criticisms those in attendance of awards ceremony have for those who have put the effort in to being the best they can and are the awardees? Remarks on how overly gung-ho they are or petty nit picking? Or, have you known that it was others who did the deed that the person is being awarded for?

Certainly, there are few if any who have not experienced something amiss at work, inappropriate relationships, pilfering, missing items, maintenance issues that you have reported only for it to be ignored until the problem grew too large to be ignored and far more costly to solve. It may be the person you reported to who replied with, “Eh? Don’t worry about it.”, or someone else higher up the food chain. All it takes is one in the long chain to have the “Well, don’t worry about it.” attitude to keep the key decision makers in the dark. When this happens, do we naturally assume that everyone reported it on up to the big guy/gal who then, for nefarious reasons, refused to act, or, do we just wonder at the mysteries of corporate, bureaucratic or military incompetence?

Have we ever given much thought on why reports of easily solvable problems are ignored until they blow up or why vitally important information never makes it up the chain of command? I invite you to stick with me as I explore this and more. I suspect that more than one discipline has a book or more on the subject but have not read one myself. Let me know what you think.

Some by nature, others by nurture, but probably all at some point in their life have had the, “Not my problem”, attitude. Douglas’s Adams dealt with this in his misnamed Hitchhiker’s trilogy which includes the “Somebody Else’s Problem” force field. If you have never read this series, I cannot recommend it enough. I find that it answers or at least identifies many of the peculiarities of human behavior.

I bet at sometime in your history that there is the dirtbag of a coworker who always leaves their work for you to do. Then there are those who by all prior experience you would think would spring into action whenever needed, but then fail do so. Is it disbelief that the time they trained or planned for was finally at hand? Is it a lack of confidence in themselves, are they truly ready, or are they really reading the situation correctly? Or is there something else that causes the stationary panic? Is it fear at getting it wrong and destroying the considerable credibility they have hitherto enjoyed? Probably different for each thus affected at the time they need to act.

Then we have a motivation that is sung about in the chorus of a sea song set to a tune celebrating the end of the American Civil War, where the watch on deck sees a storm brewing at the end of their watch and the want the officer of the watch to call the next watch to deal with it.

Strike The Bell

Chorus

Strike the bell second mate

Let us go below

Look away to windward

You can see it’s gonna blow

Look at the glass

You can see that it has fell

And we are wishing that the second mate would strike, strike the bell.

We have all been there, have we not, when a sudden, unexpected issue comes up just as we are about to leave work knowing that if we cannot get away NOW we will be stuck there for hours dealing with it? What have you done in such circumstances? Well, civilians do not corner the market of such feelings and actions.

Let’s use some movie scenes to start us on this journey. The movie Tora, Tora, Tora is probably the closest to an accurate depiction a movie could provide of what lead up to the attack and the raid on Pearl Harbor itself. We have the crypto guys, that’s those who deal with codes and code breaking, and those who analyze them who conclude that the Imperial Navy of Japan is going to attack Pearl Harbor. Conventional belief seems to be that they were ignored, they were not. On at least one occasion the garrisons around the Hawaiian islands did go on full alert based upon this intelligence. The movie does depict this, though briefly. Few things destroy morale more than going on full alert again and again and nothing happens. Think “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” for even worse implications for doing so.

When later radio intercepts indicated the date, the actual and correct date, the folks presenting it had already been wrong before, leading to a morale crushing full alert. Further, no one really believed, except some of the intel guys, that the Japanese would be that STuPid. For any attack on Hawaii, regardless of how successful could only result in the destruction of Japan. I am also of the belief that even if we were fully ready, locked and loaded with guns trained outboard and gave them a hell of a bloody nose that the American public would be calling for war with the same intensity. They intended to sneak attack us either way. What would you have done, knowing no more than the decision makers knew at that time?

History shows us that there are far more Midshipman Holloms from Master and Commander, at all levels of authority as we see him in the opening scenes than there are Capt. Jack Aubreys. Hollom sees something, but does not want to call “Beat to Quarters” unless he is sure. When at peace and/or not expecting action, this is THE norm. No one wants to disrupt routine and cause more work for others on a false alarm…and most alarms are false.

How about front line reports? Remember above where I asked if you had ever reported a problem and was ignored? Well, ain’t no different in the military. As depicted, quite accurately, in Tora Tora Tora, the USS Ward does engage with an unknown sub within the security perimeter and reported it. The officer in charge blows it off as a new skipper’s jitters and demands confirmation of the sighting. In peacetime, this is the norm. So many sightings are reported and almost all will not be anything to be concerned about that it would generally be folly to ‘turn out the guard!, for each one. However, we have some intel guys telling us that an attack on Hawaii is imminent. But we already went on alert over that and it was nothing. Those in Hawaii were not privy to the newest intercepts and even if they had them, what would they think. Remember, Japan would have to be dirt stupid to attack Hawaii and no one thinks their enemy is dirt stupid.

Not just with we yanks. Again with another classic WW2 movie, in The Longest Day we have a German lookout on a Normandy Beach see and report “Thousands of Ships” bearing down on him. He is told that the enemy does not have that many ships, and his report is dismissed. Why? In part, because the allies did not have thousands of ships. However, when private vessels were either volunteered or commandeered to help sea lift the massive invasion force, well there were a lot more ships there than German intelligence could account for. And here too, the German high command was convinced of something else, that an invasion force absolutely must use established port facilities, could not land on a beach and would certainly be led by Patton and he was elsewhere. No, that flotilla of ships, however big, could not be the invasion fleet. ALL indications were that Patton would lead it from somewhere else. Would YOU want to put YOUR neck out a call a red alert, “The Yanks, Bull Dogs and Canucks are coming!”? If so, I’m glad you weren’t there.

Let’s go back further in time. Sorry, no movie references for this one. On the 6th and 7th of April 1862 the Battle of Shiloh was fought in Tennessee. There had long been reports that the Rebel army had left Corinth and was on its way to confront Grant’s Army of the Tennessee. These were treated as just rumors, jittery scouts and pickets miscounting every deer and wild boar as a Johnny. Early in the morning of the 6th, a scattering of musketry could be perceived through the heavy mist in the thick woods surrounding the various small fields the US army was encamped in. Just pickets clearing their muskets before heading back to the commands, it was generally thought to be. Even as stragglers began to make their way to the camps, they were not believed, for if the rebs were as close as they say, surely the din of battle would foretell it. Something similar might have been said by General Sherman to a mounted courier for he is known to have been in disbelief of an attack until this courier was shot dead in his saddle as he conversed with the General.

The Confederate attack was an almost complete surprise, one that left US soldiers dead at their breakfast fires and others fleeing for the river to save their lives. Had it been just about any other than Grant in command, it may have been a massive victory for the South instead of the South never smiling again after Shiloh. Again, why? Why were the reports from those on the front line dismissed? In part, because intelligence all had the rebs in their camps far away. Second, the topography of the land muffled the sounds of the fight causing a discrepancy between what was heard from low level soldiers and what was heard of the battle. Which would you believe? What someone tells you, or what your own senses tell you?

But there is another reason. Who is it that we find standing guard duty, especially in unpleasant weather or postings? Unless you have deprived yourself of all the following; Abbot and Costello movies, McHale’s Navy, CPO Sharkey, From Here to Eternity, Donald Duck and Popeye cartoons and all other military based programs and flicks, you must have at least a passing understanding that some of those guarding the wall that protects our freedoms from those who wish us harm were assigned their posts because they pissed someone off. They may have pissed off the NCO because they are a shitbird or because their NCO is a shitbird and they are not, but they pissed off someone.

Here, morale can play a decisive role. If the morale of the guard has been sufficiently damaged as a result of either their own bad attitude or by the mistreatment they received, they may not be inclined to report what they observe. Not rare. Quite common, in fact. Then we have the other side of the coin. The shitbird’s military bearing may not be completely wiped (sorry if this naval engineer’s pun misses) and the mistreated guard stander may not have had their morale completely broken and they do report what they see. How likely is it that those who posted them on guard will believe the reports? My personal experience is, not. bloody. likely.

Just before I sat down to begin typing this, I saw a thread by Celia Farber, whom I respect, on five ballon observers who documented and reported Hamas paraglider training. They were made fun of and their reports not taken with the gravity they deserved. Thus, the high command was not made aware of this vitally important intelligence. Why were they mocked for their reporting? I do not know, of course, but I think the novelty of standing watch in a balloon would wear off pretty damned fast. Doubt the waste removal facilities would be all that plush. Perhaps I am wrong and the observation ballon watch is THE post to get, leaving others jealous, though I suspect the former. In such case, they were either the lowest soldiers on the totem pole or they pissed off someone, neither of which helps their credibility.

This does not mean there was a conspiracy. It only means that it was a SNAFU; Situation NORMAL, All Fucked Up. Such things are common but you never hear of the like because it is exceeding rare that the enemy is stupid enough to start a war that will lead to their own destruction and by so doing, make public certain realities we just don’t want to believe are as normal as the sun rising.

That is not to say that SNAFUs do not cause problems. I will now use my own experiences from my time in the navy and in civil life in the US and Japan to help illustrate this. It would be tedious to explain how/why in full, but the realities of being assigned to the engine room had me standing the first three underway watches as throttleman. A watch is 6 hours and we stand usually 6 hours on watch, 6 hours off watch but working, 6 hours on watch and the next 6 hours interrupted by drills. Finally out of the engine room after 18 hours of standing at the throttles I prepare to hit the rack when the messenger of the watch tells me that I am needed back in the pit for the Emergency crash back drill. I tell the messenger to bugger off as the watch team is designed to handle all evolutions and if I have to go back, it means at least another 12 hours in the hole.

The poor messenger returns to inform me that Master Chief is pissed and I had better get down there post haste. Upon entering the engine room, I ask WTF, the watch team is supposed to be able to handle evolution. I was told to shut the fuck up and check the oil sight flow indicators on the reduction gears. Again, WTF, that is the duty of the messenger of the watch, who, if not sent to harass me, would be able to fulfill. Again told to shut the fuck up and perform a continuous check of the oil sight flow indicators.

At some point, one is no longer indicating any oil flow. I holler out, “No oil flow in xxxx bearing!”. I am a throttleman and know that no oil flow in the indicator means we must stop and lock the main engine immediately to prevent further damage. Those are the standing orders. Master Chief ignores me. I shout it again. All eyes on MC. He just stares at me. I request Chief to verify, he does and now he sings out that there is no oil flow. MC sits silently. I crawl off the engine and go to MC and report that there is no oil flow in the sight flow indicator and that EOSS (Engineering Operation Sequencing System) demands that we call it up to Damage Control Central and stop and lock the main engine. He roars at me to leave the upper level for the lower level, essentially telling me to sit in the corner of the classroom with a a dunce cap on.

I sat where I could view the dual oil strainer. One strainer is in use while the other is in standby, this arrangement allows us to inspect and clean the strainers periodically and after certain evolutions such as an emergency crash back (ECB). I am also wondering just how essential my presence was in the engine room if they can spare me to sit in the corner. Immediately after the ECB, the lower level Man switches the oil filters and the one that was in use is filled with babbitt material, the soft metal of bearings that is there to wear away instead of the harder metal in use. The throttleman on watch immediately stops and locks the main engine and we limp back into port on one shaft.

I know that we wiped at least three bearings of the reduction gear for I recall at least one replacement being located stateside, another in the Philippines and at least one had to be made off of 30 year old builder’s drawings. There may have been another found elsewhere in the States and more that had to be remade but I do not recall perfectly. Because MC decided to be a putz, a US warship was sent into port for repairs costing the US taxpayer millions. There was a JAG investigation, of course. I was the only one who reported honestly about what happened. Even if they believed me, even if the evidence supported my testimony, even if others collaborated it, the navy is not going to hang a Master Chief E-9 out to dry over the testimony of an E-5. The JAG investigation found that the cause could not be attributed to watch stander error.

Was there a conspiracy, yes, of course there was. But for what? To save MC’s ass. There was no conspiracy to take the ship off line, to deprive the American public of its presence along the wall protecting their freedom. The Captain may or may not have been involved, doubt any higher would have been. The Sec. Def., undoubtably was not nor was the President. This shit is as common as bird shit in an aviary. It is Situation Normal, All Fucked U, heavy on the “normal”.

What was the lesson I learned here? Let me share an episode that I am far from proud of. In my defense, I will say I finally learned the lesson the navy tried for years to nurture me in, “Not my problem.”. While serving aboard my second ship, the one aboard which I for a period of time, a rather long period, had only two 45 minute periods of time where I was not on watch or in a drill each day. There was a brief period of time where I was not assigned such hours and actually had time to take a college course aboard ship and other pursuits. Spent time in the ship’s library, for example. I would also go visit friends at their watch stations in the engine room for a spell. One was standing watch over the two Ships Service Turbine Generators (SSTG) in his engine room. The SSTGs are steam driven electrical generators that provide the electrical power for the ship. I never qualled on these as after getting qualled at throttleman I went to cryogenics school and should not have found myself in the engine room again. While visiting my shipmate, we notice arching at one end of the generator. I told my friend not to worry about it. Mainly, because, it being a generator, would it not be expected to have such, but the reality is I didn’t want to be in the engine room, off watch, when there was a fire called. Nor, did I want to get the treatment MC gave me years earlier when I reported an issue I did have the knowledge and training to know about. After his watch, we were on the mess decks when we hear, “FIRE FIRE FIRE. CLASS CHARLIES FIRE IN NO. X SSTG”. AWAY THE AT SEA FIRE PARTY, AWAY. PROVIDE FROM REPAIR LOCKER 5, AWAY.” I looked at my now exfriend, for I had destroyed all trust with him, and suggested we keep quiet about what we earlier observed with that SSTG. You would be wrong to think I am unique in this regard. You would be wrong to think that this is not normal, for large organizations of humanity nurture it.

Midshipman Hollom. One of my now previous supervisors, my boss actually, at a medical school in Japan was a young man 10 years my junior from Canada. He was and I believe still, heavily into using computers and online resources for education and is very strict with following rules, especially with online security. While visiting his office, he behind the partition to call something up on his computer and I at the front desk, he says, “Oh! I see you logged into the school’s portal.” Surprised, I thought I minute and replied, “Well, I did before I came in today.” “No”, says he, “I mean right now.” “That’s impossible, I did not bring my laptop with me.” Was my reply. He responds with, “ The school portal says you just logged into it from”…. My home address…” and that you are still currently logged in.” “We gotta tell somebody for I am obviously not at home and I do not have my computer with me.” He suggests, “Your wife perhaps?”. “She’s at work in Shinjuku.”I told him. “Could she have gone home for some reason and logged in?”, he asks. “No. She has her own computer and neither of us have the other’s password.” Blank stare. I asked if we should alert somebody as if this is not a security breach, what is? He looks away and no more is said about it. I would take action on my own, as I discovered that my pocket wifi had been hacked and that there was a large body of memory stored in my Outlook folder but that I had never set up nor used Outlook. But the patron saint of internet security could not be moved to act or even inform the school of the security breech.

FIRE FIRE FIRE CLASS CHARLE FIRE IN THE CLASSROOM.

We had an electrical fire in a classroom during class. The building is a rarity as it survived both the 1923 earthquake and the firebombings of WW2. Dingy but for the most part, well maintained. The electric system is shot. The lecture hall has outlets under the seats that were installed long after the building was built but long before our first year students were born. As a result of the fire I would learn through my own inspection, that many of the electrical outlets lacked covers. Several had bare wires exposed. The day of the fire was during winter. The students stuffed the winter clothing under their seats along with their book bags and back packs and whatever else they carried to school that day. They were sitting atop fuel for a massive med student roast with the ignition source just under them.

Suddenly, a student jumps up and shouts, “It’s bunny!. It’s bunny!” My boss and I are team teaching this class of 120 or so students. I would learn later that we each thought there must have been a large rat and she, not being a native English speaker chose the wrong rodent in her panic. We arrive at the scene at the same time and see arching and sparking, flame and sparks shooting from the outlet and a power converter for a computer melting. Inches away are winter coats, scarves and gloves. My boss runs to inform the office and I jump to clear burnables away from the fire. Boss returns and tells me to evacuate the classroom. I tell Japan’s medical future to grab their bags and leave the building. Like statues with oversized anime eyes, they stand or sit frozen. I repeat it louder and the spell remains unbroken. Switching to engine room voice and language, I bellow for them to grab their shit and get the fuck out NOW and heave someone’s bag towards the door cause several engaged in imitations statuary to dodge it. Broke the spell but only for another to take hold. After less than a dozen got out of the room, these future doctors of medicine stopped at the door way, blocking it, to pull out their idiot phones to tell others of the great event. Need I say more? I can, but do I need to?

Afterwards, the med school’s onsite electrician came over to have a look. The power adopter was still in the outlet, smoking. We had tried to flip the breakers off at the very beginning but none of the ones not locked were for this circuit. The moron grabbed the remains of the plug for the adaptor with a pair of rubber handled pliers and pulled it out. Seeing that the plug was bent, he began berating the young woman to whom it belonged. I shot back that the reason they were bent was because she attempted to remove the plug by pulling the cord from the side, bending the red hot plug. He then just left. That’s it. No repair work what so ever to the electrical system. None. Didn’t bother to turn off the power to the circuit either fried circuit either. Nor test it.

I shared this story with a friend from Germany who worked in manufacturing in Japan until he recently retired. He confirmed that this is the norm in Japan and oh boy, is there hell to be had if ever you make a fuss about safety issues. I no longer work there and this happened just before the panic so I do not know if they finally fixed it, I doubt it. When there finally is a fire, what will be reported as the cause? Would it be the result of a conspiracy?

But there is more! We also held class in a classroom on the top floor of the same building. At the end of the hall way is the emergency escape door that leads to the roof and a single, spring loaded line with a boatswain’s chair like harness that allows for just one person at a time to descend to the ground. It does so right in front of windows on every floor below. If the fire is in a room with one of these windows, those escaping get roasted in the way down. Genius. My boss told me of the fire drills he had to participate in which all the full time faculty and staff had to use the escape device. Just the one sling for the entire building, a building with a faulty electrical system.

That’s not all! Coming into the office one day, I see a staff member closing the emergency exit and locking it. I asked my boss to follow me to the door and to try to open it. No alarms on emergency exits in Japan, at least I have never seen one in any of the numerous school buildings I have been in. It was locked, he could not open it, he turned his head with a look of complete shock. In 8 years of working there full time he never knew the door was kept locked nor where to get the key. This too is normal, in Japan. I lived in a dorm that was the same except we were also locked inside at night, no panic doors in Japan. That was 30 years ago and I was finally able to leave that death trap after a few months. But take a look at InstaGram and read all the reports on how Japan is living in the future, how everything is perfect here, how they “Got it right”. If, and I believe when, that building catches fire and hundreds of medical students, factuality and stage are roasted to death on the top floor behind the locked emergency escape door, will the cry of “conspiracy” ring out? Should it?

How about the Sewol, the Korean ferry that capsized with hundreds of high school students and other passengers left aboard? The fuck ups by all levels of professionals and authority are mind boggling until you realize, just another SNAFU.

On the 8th floor of an office building in Tokyo when the 3/11 earthquake hit, I was in for another lesson. Several, actually. Evacuating was hampered by drywall from the walls and ceiling that had collapsed onto the stairs. The lights also flickered off and on. Once at the first floor, a clear plastic cup covering the normal door latch had to be removed before our exist could be affected. I was not the first one down but could see another teacher, a Brit, taking it off. While it did not take an excessive amount of time, it took far more than an emergency door should take to open. I do not recall if this door was the same, but I have long noted and remarked that doors to public buildings and the rooms therein should open outward, instead of inward as they usually do in Japan. Of all the hundreds of employees for various companies that worked in the building and were now outside, only one, a new hire, had their emergency kit with them that all full time employees have at their desks. We teachers are contractors and not issued these. I was laughed at for having grabbed my jacket, hat, briefcase and travel mug by the Japanese employees who stood smoking their cigs right next to the building doing the “S” wave dance during the numerous aftershocks. Once the aftershocks subsided, those who mocked me would climb over the debris on the stairs to return to work. The electricity was still flickering, water was pouring out the building and down an escape stair case that I never knew existed, and these fine specimens of human intellect and awareness climbed back up to their offices, only to come scrambling out again after every large aftershock. Eventually, the building manager locked the doors so no one could get back in until the building passed its safety inspection. Do you think that those who laughed at me for have taken my belongings with me came over to apologize for mocking me? I did not expect they would but the angry glances at me were also not expected. They now had to go home without their coats, it was cold, snow was forecast, without their brief cases, the women without their purses and without their house keys, and they hated me for not being as stupid as they.

Speaking about keys, allow me to share some facts on base security. Am I going out on a limb when I say most of you think that our military bases are securely guarded? My med school is more securely guarded than most of the navy bases I was stationed at. One of the many good stories of the good people in the navy centered around the impending death of my maternal grandmother. I was in class at my service school when I was summoned to the office. There, the yeoman had my leave papers already signed by the C.O., requiring only my signature. My mom contacted the Red Cross about my grand mother’s deteriorating condition who then contacted my command and they prepared everything for me. As she was drinking up to pick me up, my command applied on my behalf and unbeknownst to me for leave to visit my grandmother and attend her funeral. Despite all that was done for me, the base gate guards were real pricks when I tried to sign my mom onto the base. Really strict security, I was actually impressed. That evaporated some time later when I returned to base by city bus. Was not aware that we could take the bus onto base. At the same gate that was over the top strict with my mom and I just one guard boarded the bus stood at the and asked for the naval personal aboard to hold up their IDs. The civilians were not required to do anything. I thought at the time that if there was a terrorist aboard we would not know until they blew themselves up.

Later, at San Diego, I heard that one could get on base by merely folding a dollar bill to the size of the ID card and showing it to the gate guards, who were renta cops. There were Marines too but they did not check IDs during commute times. The main gate was wide, several lanes across and the side walk opposite these from the guard shack. Taking a risk that was common for me in my youth that I shudder at now, I tried and yes, you could gain access to Naval Station San Diego with nothing more than a dollar bill folded around a drivers license. I know, I have done it.

The Cryogenics school was some very secure annex in Virginia. The buildings where the equipment was in for us to practice had extremely thick masonry walls with the roofs sitting unattached atop. The powder for the big guns of our battle ships was handled in these and they were designed for the blast of an accidental explosion to be directed straight up through the unattached roof. Several of the tubes from these ships were sitting on blocks outside. We were not berthed here however. Our barracks were in a bad part of town. The first night we were told not to go out the gate after a certain hour as we would be shot, so bad was the crime there. I did hear several gun shots that night and most nights there until they blended into the back ground noise. There was a walk in gate behind our barracks guarded by a renta cop, a retired vet usually. Inside the gate were photo engraved newspapers articles of shootings just outside the gate. One night, after returning from the package store, I found the guard at this gate asleep at his post. Furious, I stormed off towards the quarterdeck to report him. Then I recalled MC’s treatment and the fall out from that. Fuck it, ain’t my problem. I do go back and bang on the window to wake him up and walked away shaking my head, though.

Gate security at Yokosuka Japan was an entirely different manner. Once I was on shore patrol SP assigned to the Alliance club that straddled the gate. It was physically possible to enter the base through this building but the door leading onto the base was secured after a certain time each night necessitating one to depart the base, round a corner of the club to enter through the front door at night. Same but in reverse when retuning back to the boat. During daylight, we could enter and leave through the back door on the base side of the building. We always patrolled in pairs. This night there was a party in honor of National Hispanic History Month. A navy wife come up to us to inform us that two of the females in the club’s party room were under age, she knew because they were in her daughter’s class. We go and card the girls and find that they were in fact under age. As we start to escort them out, a mass of drunk squids hoping for easy scores blocked our egress. The dipshit who was assigned as my partner turned out to be a hot head who did not take kindly to spics not following his orders. Think Cartman from South Park. He we are two white boys in a sea of drunk hispanics already pissed we’re taking their easy dates from them and my partner is doing his level best to invite a race riot. Lovely. SNAFU. I had to throttle him as we tried to make it out of the room and make it to the manager’s office. One of the drunk squids decided to get physical, he was the one who got the girls into the club. I ordered him to surrender his ID and to come with us. Thanks to God, he complied.

We were met by a Master at Arms (MA), an actual Naval police officer in the office. The drunk squid refused to comply with the MA, instead showed off for the two girls, showing how manly he was. Suddenly, the idiot takes a swing at the MA but I catch his arm spin him around and bounce his face off the desk. As fast as lightning, the MA has cuffs on him and looks over at me and says, “Thanks”.

As stated earlier, to get back on base, we have to depart the club building and go in through the front gate. Drunk Squid’s drunk and horny buddies are awaiting us. A general melee erupts just outside the gate guarded by armed US Marines and members of a special division of the Japanese police, armed with staves. The Marine on duty has his weapon unholstered and drawing beads on our attackers. I have no lack of faith in the Marine’s marksmanship, however, we are swirling around at close range and bullets are indiscriminate. If he hit a target between he and myself, it is likely to go through and hit me, my racist partner or the MA we were assisting. Security arrives and escorts us through the melee to an awaiting paddy wagon where my SP partner and I are pushed in along with the original idiot and several of his buddies.

So what do we have here? Drunk Squid is charged with contributing to the delinquency of a monitor, resisting arrest, assault, assault on an officer of the law and it turns out, he was UA as he had duty that night aboard ship. What punishment do you suppose he got? His div O wanted him to get the most severe penalty allowable. I was called to testify. The XO stated that he felt it was just another case of the base MAs having it out for our ship’s crew but hearing testimony from me, a member of the ship’s crew, took it more seriously. Odd, I thought as the punk’s own div O wanted the book thrown at him. Punishment rendered was 40 days restriction and 40 days extra duty. However, we were at sea at the time. He ended up missing the port visit to Perth and nothing more of consequence for all that. I, on the other hand, lost a rare off watch to testify. Further, the yeoman for my division was a friend of the Drunk Squid. Not long after the events just related to you, he assaulted me. I demanded his ID card to write him up. My chain of command refused to process it. Said my claim was unjustified and racially motivated. This episode predates the SSTG incident. I do not offer it as an excuse but it should serve as an explanation, at least in part for my attitude at that time.

Just like all other groups, the military and the government have all kind of people in it. As it is with bad employees and coworkers, so it is with the military, though the military and public service arguably have higher concentrations as both attract such and nurtures others into these ways. However, it is rarely everyone in any particular action. Nor is it always that the dirt bags are the ones you should expect to run.

In “Four Years With The Iron Brigade”, “The Civil war Journal of William Ray” we learn that many of those who held the line against vastly numerically superior numbers at Gettysburg where those who were constantly in trouble. IF, and I do not know, IF the depiction of Pvt. Henry Hook in the movie ZULU is accurate, we have another example. It may be the case that my experiences are unique but if so, only in their number. Such cases are every day realities for those in the service. I could provide more, enough to keep you reading for days, if you were so inclined.

For accurate depictions of the military, I suggest reading Ambrose Bierce. His Devil’s Dictionary provides accurate assessments of humanity as does many of Twain’s works, but Bierce short story on Shiloh, sorry could not find the title, I don’t think it is in his “What I saw at Shiloh” which is, as I recall, a dispassionate telling of his personal experiences, is of use. The story I am looking for is that of a Union artillery officer who is ordered to fire upon Union infantry by an officer who misidentified his infantry for that of the enemy. I believe this is fiction but based on his observations.

Another is Joseph Heller’s “Catch 22”. That is so spot on, on the topic of military life that those who have not lived seen to be unable to believe it. The Dead Man in Yoyo’s tent is so spot on and relevant to this discussion that it cannot be overstated how true that can be. Both or these are far more accurate in their depictions of the reality of the military than what those who believe only vast conspiracies can answer for horrible military outcomes leading to war seem able to believe.

SNAFU, Situation NORMAL, All Fucked Up is the normal state of the world. It is by nothing more than the grace of God that the human race has survived this long. When the thin reed protecting us from catastrophe breaks under the weight of human incompetence and indifference leading to horrible outcomes, it is far more likely that it is just that, another SNAFU. I will find it hard to believe that any reader of my substack has not had similar experiences to some of these presented here. If you have in civilian life, it is many times worse in the military. No conspiracies on high needed. It’s all SNAFU.