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I did not want to got to sleep last night as waking up today, it would be my first with a father.

Initially, I thought I would not share the news of my dad going into the ICU with the preexwife. Could not rule out the possibility that she would attempt to use it to force me to accept worse conditions in the settlement. But, dad was also my son’s grandfather so I sent an email letting her know. No response.

When I learned of his passing 2 hours later, I sent that too. Again, no reply. Around 1:30 am she replies saying sorry for my loss and for not seeing my emails earlier. Our son was still up and she shared with him the news and he cried. Much to her credit, she offered to let me spend the night over at the house so that I would not be alone. I accepted, imperfectly packed my sea bag with pillows, blankets and an almost full set of clothes and marched over there at 2 am.

She had set up a camp cot in the bedroom and Mia crawled under the covers and purred. At least my first wakening without my father was in a familiar location an and one he had spent time in. They came over for Christmas 11 years ago.

I had hoped that though I am losing my family here in Japan that I would have some time with both of my parents once I returned. I imaged driving them around in their mobile home for a bit. I certainly wanted to shake his hand one more time. I am further saddened, while grateful we Zoomed last Saturday, that the last news I shared with him was of my divorce. I did not think it fair to give them the burden of keeping it from their grandson for what was planned a full year. I was hoping to zoom with them today and discuss my homecoming, though it is a year and a half off.