I have no advice other than to try and deal with your pending lonely holiday as positively as possible. Maybe read a thick book, eat well and exercise extensively. I have experience here. I strongly suggest that you avoid alcohol.
Based on what you have stated, making plans with your child and having him over should not be too difficult for you, and your wife might welcome the help. The tough part will be fighting over the method of treatment for your child's depression. By the way, your child has every right to be depressed. If I had the last five years as part of my childhood...I would be traumatized.
You’ve lamented that in the not-too-distant future, you may be forced out of your child’s life for good. Just my opinion but as a mother, I feel you should take the opportunity to be with your son anytime while you can, assuming an invitation is even forthcoming. And if you decide to go, it doesn’t have to be an all day situation. You could see your son open his presents & leave anytime after.
I think you’re right to decline. They need to at least feel that you have a life beyond their world and in fact you ought to seek out a friend or two during the holiday.
Nice to know your mum is getting some support and hope she’ll make new friends and find new direction in her life.
I suggest you take your son out for a walk. No prying ears or eyes, no need to experience the home you no longer share. Just be with him, not the setting, the PXW, or anything else. Buy him a "treat" food, wander a short distance and talk or don't talk -- whatever happens. Your focus is him.
I think, if the opportunity presents itself, time with your son might be a good idea. Time with him outside the home. A walk. A snack. something! Talk or not talk. Find a way to spend time with him while you are still in Japan. He is a person and you are his father. He must be feeling something with your sudden removal from the home. There is still his lifetime ahead! Tenuous connections may be built and maintained.
Can you take jr. to the beach on New Year's Day to see the rising sun with all the other early risers? then maybe to some family restaurant for pancakes or something else he likes? He'll remember that as a great dad experience.
It's up to the family to decide the best course of action for holidays. I imagine there are some families that still celebrate these occasions together, but most that I know celebrate them apart. Sometimes they divide it by year, other times by holiday, and still others simply celebrate the holiday on different days.
I know that I would not want to celebrate a holiday with someone who does not want me there. That is essentially what getting thrown out means, does it not? You are not wanted there.
I have no advice other than to try and deal with your pending lonely holiday as positively as possible. Maybe read a thick book, eat well and exercise extensively. I have experience here. I strongly suggest that you avoid alcohol.
Based on what you have stated, making plans with your child and having him over should not be too difficult for you, and your wife might welcome the help. The tough part will be fighting over the method of treatment for your child's depression. By the way, your child has every right to be depressed. If I had the last five years as part of my childhood...I would be traumatized.
You’ve lamented that in the not-too-distant future, you may be forced out of your child’s life for good. Just my opinion but as a mother, I feel you should take the opportunity to be with your son anytime while you can, assuming an invitation is even forthcoming. And if you decide to go, it doesn’t have to be an all day situation. You could see your son open his presents & leave anytime after.
I think you’re right to decline. They need to at least feel that you have a life beyond their world and in fact you ought to seek out a friend or two during the holiday.
Nice to know your mum is getting some support and hope she’ll make new friends and find new direction in her life.
Since you asked ...
I suggest you take your son out for a walk. No prying ears or eyes, no need to experience the home you no longer share. Just be with him, not the setting, the PXW, or anything else. Buy him a "treat" food, wander a short distance and talk or don't talk -- whatever happens. Your focus is him.
Merry Christmas, Kitsune!
Hi Kitsune!
People do care!
I think, if the opportunity presents itself, time with your son might be a good idea. Time with him outside the home. A walk. A snack. something! Talk or not talk. Find a way to spend time with him while you are still in Japan. He is a person and you are his father. He must be feeling something with your sudden removal from the home. There is still his lifetime ahead! Tenuous connections may be built and maintained.
Can you take jr. to the beach on New Year's Day to see the rising sun with all the other early risers? then maybe to some family restaurant for pancakes or something else he likes? He'll remember that as a great dad experience.
I have no idea.
It's up to the family to decide the best course of action for holidays. I imagine there are some families that still celebrate these occasions together, but most that I know celebrate them apart. Sometimes they divide it by year, other times by holiday, and still others simply celebrate the holiday on different days.
I know that I would not want to celebrate a holiday with someone who does not want me there. That is essentially what getting thrown out means, does it not? You are not wanted there.
Declining the invitation seems like a good choice. Have a peaceful Christmas.
Some thinking music:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xMaE6toi4mk&list=RDxMaE6toi4mk&start_radio=1&pp=ygUiY2xhc2ggc2hvdWxkIGkgc3RheSBvciBzaG91bGQgaSBnb6AHAQ%3D%3D