I have no clue what it's like to lose a pre-exwife for good. And calling her that is a great illustration of the complications of it.
I do know what it is like to live in a situation, seeing no good way out, only to experience expulsion. At least you know what is coming and are planning for it. The more you plan, the more you focus on where it is you are going and how to get there, the better off you will be. I imagine there is also something to be said for getting out sooner rather than later.
I know, from just my limited experience with relationships, that the longer you stay in a loveless relationship, the more resentment that can build.
If you're like me, you will go over all the things you have done for someone or the family over time, and yet, here you are on the way out. Sometimes it doesn't make sense. I have been pretty detailed in the things I did wrong to get where I am now, but also light on the value that I brought. Maybe this is because I'd like to think I was more in control of my destiny. But in the end, if you're not wanted, you're not wanted.
Not exactly. I do not know what is coming. I do know that the Japanese government is coming after all non Japanese who have not been paying into to various welfare programs. On the surface, that seems reasonable, however,as I have written about before, we and even a large number of Japanese are not aware that we are not paying for them through our taxes. I know that the city offices do indeed raid such peoples’ residences and take all of value therein to pay for the missed payments, draining their accounts to zero. Hopefully, the preexwife will hold to her unsolicited pledge to refund what I paid toward the mortgage on the house, but I cannot keep this in a bank account for it would be reported to the US government and taxed, despite it being a refund, and subject to being taken when the J government raids my bank account. The exact same for the refund of my private pension. It too is not taxed in Japan for it is a refund but it will be reported to the US and I will likely be taxed as if it were unearned income. And the same concerns of the J gov taking it. So what do I do with this cash. If I escape with it, how do I bring it back to the States and make it back to my parent’s home with all the jurisdictions I must pass through that fund themselves with civil forfeiture? How do I ship back my personal belongings to the States? Trying to solve these problems keeps me up at night and distracts me during the day. Hard to get motivated to do anything, hard to stay motivated, hard to concentrate and remain focuses upon any task.
I suspect that I will work hard to get out of dodge as soon as possible with as much of my stuff as possible but will get “caught” at various stages and get out too late with but little of what I currently have.
But the bottom line is as you point out, if you’re not wanted, you’re not wanted; so no way around any of this.
There must be some creative ways you could find to keep hold of your money. It might involve risk and require trust in certain people but if you’re going to lose it all anyway to those criminals who claim to govern, might as well take a chance or two. One idea is to “gift” certain amounts big enough to help but small enough to stay under the radar to various family and friends. Another way would be to buy certain things that could be sold at a later date and turned back into cash. Could you buy a nice car and ship it back to the states? Would they tax it if you had owned it for a period of time in Japan? Would that tax rate be less? That might not be the best example but you know what I mean. Gold chains, watches, jewellery?
I have pondering this for quite some time. Mailing is problematic as we now need prior permission to mail anything to the States. They have also long done way with the secret postal inspector/observers that once made it difficult for postal workers to pilfer packages in the sorting centers and post offices. I have some ideas but nothing really works as it is best if I carry on my person on the trip home but that means keeping in my apartment in Japan which is far from secure without the fear of the kleptocrats raiding it.
My problem knee is my right knee, and my practitioners tell me this is lack of male support (throughout my life, I have excellent support now, and an artificial knee)
Yes, but not sure if that applies in my case. I was jumping from one bouncing inflatable raft to another and landed on my left foot as the angle of the surface I made contact with suddenly shifted. With my covid lockdown lite imposed increase in portliness, I twisted my knee badly. Not wanting to destroy the day for the kids, I did not report my injury and made it worse. However, the lack of female support probably made the healing process longer than it should have been.
It still applies. You wouldn't have had that vulnerability if the knee were supported.
Yes, mine was a stupid accident too - but at a time when I was beleagured by my partner, unsupported, and - well. Gaslit and narcissised. Yes, I was skiing, Yes, I made the turn to soon, and when I corrected - twisted knee very (VERY) (permanently) badly.
The men in my life said, "why were you skiing?" My partner at the time was skiing with me. I declined an ambulance (being a poor American), and he drove me to emergency - but the complaints were never ending.
So - regardless of accident, the weakness is an indicator of support (or lack thereof) in your life.
At least, if you believe that emotions and bodies and environment are entangled.
Well, I was in the water with The Kid because the preexwife decided to stay on the beach. But I think the same would have happen to my right knee had I jumped off with the left and landed on the right instead, though we’ll never know. I declined an ambulance and going to any hospital for the same, can’t afford to. Luckily, many here recommended DMSO and that did the trick.
I *****had***** DMSO in the house, but didn't understand in 90's how it worked, how to use - I had been using it on my back, with limited success, and in my ignorance, didn't try it. I wonder if I would've saved myself 20 years of suffering if I'd gotten on the DMSO right away.
It worked a miracle with my knee. I am so angry that it has been maligned to obscurity for so long. I have no doubt it would have helped your knee. No idea how well but am certain it would to some degree.
This has to be tough, the strategic withdrawal, and the memories and coming removal of yourself from their lives.
Pretty much sums it up.
You're not in this alone.
I have no clue what it's like to lose a pre-exwife for good. And calling her that is a great illustration of the complications of it.
I do know what it is like to live in a situation, seeing no good way out, only to experience expulsion. At least you know what is coming and are planning for it. The more you plan, the more you focus on where it is you are going and how to get there, the better off you will be. I imagine there is also something to be said for getting out sooner rather than later.
I know, from just my limited experience with relationships, that the longer you stay in a loveless relationship, the more resentment that can build.
If you're like me, you will go over all the things you have done for someone or the family over time, and yet, here you are on the way out. Sometimes it doesn't make sense. I have been pretty detailed in the things I did wrong to get where I am now, but also light on the value that I brought. Maybe this is because I'd like to think I was more in control of my destiny. But in the end, if you're not wanted, you're not wanted.
Best wishes.
Thanks.
Not exactly. I do not know what is coming. I do know that the Japanese government is coming after all non Japanese who have not been paying into to various welfare programs. On the surface, that seems reasonable, however,as I have written about before, we and even a large number of Japanese are not aware that we are not paying for them through our taxes. I know that the city offices do indeed raid such peoples’ residences and take all of value therein to pay for the missed payments, draining their accounts to zero. Hopefully, the preexwife will hold to her unsolicited pledge to refund what I paid toward the mortgage on the house, but I cannot keep this in a bank account for it would be reported to the US government and taxed, despite it being a refund, and subject to being taken when the J government raids my bank account. The exact same for the refund of my private pension. It too is not taxed in Japan for it is a refund but it will be reported to the US and I will likely be taxed as if it were unearned income. And the same concerns of the J gov taking it. So what do I do with this cash. If I escape with it, how do I bring it back to the States and make it back to my parent’s home with all the jurisdictions I must pass through that fund themselves with civil forfeiture? How do I ship back my personal belongings to the States? Trying to solve these problems keeps me up at night and distracts me during the day. Hard to get motivated to do anything, hard to stay motivated, hard to concentrate and remain focuses upon any task.
I suspect that I will work hard to get out of dodge as soon as possible with as much of my stuff as possible but will get “caught” at various stages and get out too late with but little of what I currently have.
But the bottom line is as you point out, if you’re not wanted, you’re not wanted; so no way around any of this.
There must be some creative ways you could find to keep hold of your money. It might involve risk and require trust in certain people but if you’re going to lose it all anyway to those criminals who claim to govern, might as well take a chance or two. One idea is to “gift” certain amounts big enough to help but small enough to stay under the radar to various family and friends. Another way would be to buy certain things that could be sold at a later date and turned back into cash. Could you buy a nice car and ship it back to the states? Would they tax it if you had owned it for a period of time in Japan? Would that tax rate be less? That might not be the best example but you know what I mean. Gold chains, watches, jewellery?
I have pondering this for quite some time. Mailing is problematic as we now need prior permission to mail anything to the States. They have also long done way with the secret postal inspector/observers that once made it difficult for postal workers to pilfer packages in the sorting centers and post offices. I have some ideas but nothing really works as it is best if I carry on my person on the trip home but that means keeping in my apartment in Japan which is far from secure without the fear of the kleptocrats raiding it.
My friend - was it your left knee?
My problem knee is my right knee, and my practitioners tell me this is lack of male support (throughout my life, I have excellent support now, and an artificial knee)
I'm wondering - left knee = female support?
Yes, but not sure if that applies in my case. I was jumping from one bouncing inflatable raft to another and landed on my left foot as the angle of the surface I made contact with suddenly shifted. With my covid lockdown lite imposed increase in portliness, I twisted my knee badly. Not wanting to destroy the day for the kids, I did not report my injury and made it worse. However, the lack of female support probably made the healing process longer than it should have been.
It still applies. You wouldn't have had that vulnerability if the knee were supported.
Yes, mine was a stupid accident too - but at a time when I was beleagured by my partner, unsupported, and - well. Gaslit and narcissised. Yes, I was skiing, Yes, I made the turn to soon, and when I corrected - twisted knee very (VERY) (permanently) badly.
The men in my life said, "why were you skiing?" My partner at the time was skiing with me. I declined an ambulance (being a poor American), and he drove me to emergency - but the complaints were never ending.
So - regardless of accident, the weakness is an indicator of support (or lack thereof) in your life.
At least, if you believe that emotions and bodies and environment are entangled.
Well, I was in the water with The Kid because the preexwife decided to stay on the beach. But I think the same would have happen to my right knee had I jumped off with the left and landed on the right instead, though we’ll never know. I declined an ambulance and going to any hospital for the same, can’t afford to. Luckily, many here recommended DMSO and that did the trick.
I *****had***** DMSO in the house, but didn't understand in 90's how it worked, how to use - I had been using it on my back, with limited success, and in my ignorance, didn't try it. I wonder if I would've saved myself 20 years of suffering if I'd gotten on the DMSO right away.
It worked a miracle with my knee. I am so angry that it has been maligned to obscurity for so long. I have no doubt it would have helped your knee. No idea how well but am certain it would to some degree.
I will bring the DSMO book I mentioned before.
Thanks!