うつ病
Utsubyou….Depression
うつ病…Depression.
Do I have it? Possibly. I have been suffering several of its better known symptoms for these past few years. Chief among these is the persistent loss of interest in everything including things that used to interest me intensely. Knowing that this is a danger sign and where it can lead, I have forced myself to continue to act as if I was still interested in them, not for those around me, but to keep myself engaged with my environment, engaged with life.
For the most part, I am of the belief that depression is the natural result of the past several years. How else should one respond the seeing their kid forced to wear a mask when one is certified in respirator use and knows the health risks of wearing any respiratory protection for prolonged periods and to be shouted down by their child’s mother and the child themself over one’s concern for this known health risk? What is the proper response to seeing your only child’s childhood robbed from them? To having your income greatly reduced year after year as those who force all this upon you enrich themselves? Knowing it is a natural response to this and the rest I have been dealing with for 6 years, I did not give it too much thought and dealt with it instead. Not a happy camper by any measure, but still on site.
But it is not myself and my mental state that prompted me to write on this topic. The preexwife is attending her welcome party tonight and I picked up our son from cram school and took him over to his grandparents’ where he will spend the night. If not mistaken, this is the first time he will have stayed the night at his grandparents’ since before the panic. On the drive between the school and the in-laws I learned that he has been diagnosed with Depression and that he was thus diagnosed sometime before I moved out a month ago. His mom told him not to tell me for she feared my reaction. Supposedly, she fears I will blame him for it. Not the first time she has cooked up such nonsense.
If one wished to concoct a policy for government to follow with the goal of driving as many children to clinical depression as possible, these past 6 years would be the result. Angry I most certainly am, but not at him. Angry at his birthing person (as much as I hate that term, my preexwife enthusiastically participated in the destruction of our son’s childhood and has thus earned that term) yes, but not at him. She has no legitimate claim to the title of “mother”.
Not sure I have shared this with you yet, but until I moved out 5 weeks ago, she had never spent a single 24 hour period alone with our son. He is 12. I have, many times, as she was on business trips, both domestic and abroad. On the rare occasion of a Saturday workshop for me, she always either called her mother over or brought our son over to her parent’s house. She cannot be alone for even a few hours with him. I have no idea why. She also has not traveled anywhere with him either, whereas I have. His mother, she is not.
My anger is not with her alone. Any and all who not only pushed the madness of the past 6 years but also those who went along with it have earned even greater animosity from me. If the divine were to have Fauci or any of his ilk cross my path, I am happily going to prison.
This is trite I know but I mean it, my sincere sympathies.
Depression.
How can anyone blame a kid for their own depression? Why wouldn't they be depressed over what happened over the last six years?
Sorry, kids, no prom for you, Covid might get you, a "novel deadly virus" that none of your friends ever died from, but still...you have to accommodate the vulnerable. You could be asymptomatically infecting grandma or your parents. People could die. Nevermind that many who did die, were going to die regardless.
The only redemption I had from high school was the friends I made over that time. And to deny that aspect of it to kids—
Wear a mask, keep your distance, and you can't spend time together. You might overwhelm the hospitals.
In 2021, a young girl (I never saw her) came and checked her self into the hospital for having Covid (one of the other nurses told me about it) The kid was adamant about it, and for two days she stayed in the hospital, her parents came to visit her, even though she really had nothing wrong with her aside from having a cold. But who could blame her for coming to the hospital? She was a victim of propaganda. 24/7 indoctrination.
It is my hope that if any good comes out of this, it is the realization that the adults the kids thought had their s together, did not. That there are no "adults in the room" if they treated kids in such a fashion.
And we should be angry, livid.
I feel detached from it. I don't have kids of my own. I would feel mild annoyance at seeing masked children come into the restaurants and bars I frequented in 2020-2021. I wasn't angry at the parents; they were also masked, and they were just doing what the fear and panic propaganda told them to do (and still is to some degree)
My sister was pretty lenient. The youngest niece in 2020 was still living at home, and she went to visit friends. But I know my sister wore a mask, and probably recommended her kids get the vaccine. Back in 2022 at Christmas, she came to visit me with her kids in the previous place I was staying, and the one thing I warned her was "if you have been vaccinated, etc, I don't know what your recommendations are...just please don't get another."
When I was living with them, they knew what I thought of all the ridiculous restrictions and policies. A Thanksgiving was disrupted because of it. And the family was split on the subject. A few libertarians. At one point, one of my sisters-in-law stated, "Well. we will just see how it turns out in the end. But as for me, at least I know I did something out of consideration for others' health."
I held my tongue. This notion that not masking was selfish and killing grandma, as you know, was the common epithet for those "not in this together." Well, it is six years later, and at least in the state of Georgia, most people are not wearing masks...does that mean they hate their grandmothers?
Could it not be that the medical theater of wearing a mask is just that—medical theater?