How can anyone blame a kid for their own depression? Why wouldn't they be depressed over what happened over the last six years?
Sorry, kids, no prom for you, Covid might get you, a "novel deadly virus" that none of your friends ever died from, but still...you have to accommodate the vulnerable. You could be asymptomatically infecting grandma or your parents. People could die. Nevermind that many who did die, were going to die regardless.
The only redemption I had from high school was the friends I made over that time. And to deny that aspect of it to kids—
Wear a mask, keep your distance, and you can't spend time together. You might overwhelm the hospitals.
In 2021, a young girl (I never saw her) came and checked her self into the hospital for having Covid (one of the other nurses told me about it) The kid was adamant about it, and for two days she stayed in the hospital, her parents came to visit her, even though she really had nothing wrong with her aside from having a cold. But who could blame her for coming to the hospital? She was a victim of propaganda. 24/7 indoctrination.
It is my hope that if any good comes out of this, it is the realization that the adults the kids thought had their s together, did not. That there are no "adults in the room" if they treated kids in such a fashion.
And we should be angry, livid.
I feel detached from it. I don't have kids of my own. I would feel mild annoyance at seeing masked children come into the restaurants and bars I frequented in 2020-2021. I wasn't angry at the parents; they were also masked, and they were just doing what the fear and panic propaganda told them to do (and still is to some degree)
My sister was pretty lenient. The youngest niece in 2020 was still living at home, and she went to visit friends. But I know my sister wore a mask, and probably recommended her kids get the vaccine. Back in 2022 at Christmas, she came to visit me with her kids in the previous place I was staying, and the one thing I warned her was "if you have been vaccinated, etc, I don't know what your recommendations are...just please don't get another."
When I was living with them, they knew what I thought of all the ridiculous restrictions and policies. A Thanksgiving was disrupted because of it. And the family was split on the subject. A few libertarians. At one point, one of my sisters-in-law stated, "Well. we will just see how it turns out in the end. But as for me, at least I know I did something out of consideration for others' health."
I held my tongue. This notion that not masking was selfish and killing grandma, as you know, was the common epithet for those "not in this together." Well, it is six years later, and at least in the state of Georgia, most people are not wearing masks...does that mean they hate their grandmothers?
Could it not be that the medical theater of wearing a mask is just that—medical theater?
One thing I will never forget is the niece of a wealthy acquaintance who is a vegan, health freak and Pilates instructor. I know - being a vegan is at odds with being a health freak but what really struck me is that she was fully into the masks and the jabs. I was at a function and overheard her talking about another acquaintance who was unable to go to the Country Club because he had refused the jab and her arrogant comment was something along the lines of "Oh well, I guess it's a lifestyle choice!" I think she had no idea that I had also made the same "lifestyle choice". Even more ironic was the function in question for the funeral of her uncle who had died of a massive heart attack and who would almost certainly have been jabbed not long before that.
The word depression has been weaponised against us all. My own daughter even announced she was depressed some time ago after learning from a classmate that she was "depressed" and on medication and got special treatment such as not having to attend lessons and eventually switching to a special school. It also allows the government to open a file on you and conveniently label you. Such a record stays with you for life and can be used against you at any point in future. While I understand people can go through terrible life experiences and as a result stop being able to see any pleasure in life, I think it can be a mistake to allow yourself to be labelled as such or think of yourself as such. I'm struggling to put my thoughts into words that make sense but think of it in this way - Where does depression begin and where does it end? How do you know you have gone from just feeling a bit down one day to being depressed and at the other end how do you know you are no longer depressed? So it's not really a thing as such. Better to just look at your life in general and be more specific about the things that you are not happy about. There might be a number of things but don't just lump them together and say "I'm depressed". Evaluate each one and decide what power you have to change them. For those you don't have a solution to, just accept the situation and put them aside for now. A solution may come at some point in future. Or more often is the case, you will look back and realise that it just had to be like that and if you had been able to look back from the future, you would not have wasted any tears or anguish over that particular thing. Hopefully as you go down the list, you will come across some things you can change in some way or another. Your continued participation in things you have lost passion for might be an example of that. But if that doesn't work, try something new instead.
Wanted to include this in my response, but got distracted. Been too busy to send it earlier. I agree that depression along with most other conditions is over diagnosed. That does not mean that depression doesn’t not exist. Kinda a two things being true at the same time. After I decided to leave this comment when I could make time, I learned more about my dad’s situation that is along this line. Will do a full post on it. Shocking.
I can answer your question. First, “I am depressed., is not a statement on depression. Feeling depressed is as natural as feelings of elation and all other emotions. If one is not depressed at the loss of a pet, the end of a friendship or other tragic event they are lacking int the full rage of emotion God has provided for us. Depression is not even the prolonged state of being depressed.
Depression is the lack of emotion. When does it start? When an emotional numbness so complete that it is sublime in its completeness to the extent that it transcends all, depression reigns. When beauty is not beautiful, when ugliness is not ugly, when humor is not funny, when the disgusting is no longer disgusting, when the offensive cannot offend, when Joyfulness brings no joy, when hatred directed at you can do no more damage than that already suffered, when extensions of a friend’s love cannot reach your heart, depression has seized you. I am not fully there but have been bouncing across the border and back. Knowing, at least to the extent that I do, whatever that is, has armed with a few tools to mount a defense, not without success. Recurring bouts of sobbing as I call out for my son and dad inform me that I have not been fully taken yet.
I guess what I was trying to say in my usual clumsy way was not to fall into the trap set by those who want to control and manipulate you by seeing depression as some defined external force way beyond your control that you need help to cure, but rather to recognise it for what it is and own it and then deal with it in your own way.
I have not been diagnosed as having depression. I would not go to anyone for such a thing. I understand what is going on with me and “own” it, as you say. Not the same with my son. I doubt very much that he has depression. He has no lack of interest in the things he likes, no lack in the expression of emotions, none of the tell tale signs. He may very well be depressed, given what he has gone through these past 6 years. And, may be suffering from depression for the same reason, though I doubt it given his behavior. But I am powerless to do anything, especially as he has been on medication for a month or more.
Yes, he told me. He said that as long as he takes his medicine, all will be well. Yet, he misses his morning classes because he cannot get up in time for them.
Anti-depression medicine? That is bad news. Many of those drugs are known to be additive and have serious side effects. I suppose you have no say so about that.
I do not truly think anything has necessarily worsened with regard to your son's condition despite a facile diagnosis. It occurs to me that, having blamed you for everything, your ex-wife now sees that your absence has not improved your son's behavior and she has to face the fact that he needs help she cannot provide.
After her parenting failures, and refusal to act jointly with you to raise your son properly, it may be a very good thing that she has, in seeking help for your son, admitted there are very serious problems that throwing you out of the house has not "fixed."
I would be most concerned that she does not seek for your son a deceptive pharmaceutical "solution" to his serious behavioral issues. He needs behavioral intervention with realistic expectations for a child deprived of the loving discipline that leads to healthy socialization.
I see that I failed to communicate an important point. The diagnosis was made before I left the house but was kept from me. However, the reality is that she forbade me from executing any parenting role over a year ago, though I did not necessarily go along with this.
She has gone with the meds. She works in big pharma and is a true believer of that religion.
My mother taught me the Serenity Prayer when I was a little girl. I hope you're not offended when I say it has comforted me innumerable times when I felt helpless.
I generally prefer the navy version of that prayer, though that is perhaps not appropriate here. “God grant my the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the ordnance to make the difference.”
This is trite I know but I mean it, my sincere sympathies.
Depression.
How can anyone blame a kid for their own depression? Why wouldn't they be depressed over what happened over the last six years?
Sorry, kids, no prom for you, Covid might get you, a "novel deadly virus" that none of your friends ever died from, but still...you have to accommodate the vulnerable. You could be asymptomatically infecting grandma or your parents. People could die. Nevermind that many who did die, were going to die regardless.
The only redemption I had from high school was the friends I made over that time. And to deny that aspect of it to kids—
Wear a mask, keep your distance, and you can't spend time together. You might overwhelm the hospitals.
In 2021, a young girl (I never saw her) came and checked her self into the hospital for having Covid (one of the other nurses told me about it) The kid was adamant about it, and for two days she stayed in the hospital, her parents came to visit her, even though she really had nothing wrong with her aside from having a cold. But who could blame her for coming to the hospital? She was a victim of propaganda. 24/7 indoctrination.
It is my hope that if any good comes out of this, it is the realization that the adults the kids thought had their s together, did not. That there are no "adults in the room" if they treated kids in such a fashion.
And we should be angry, livid.
I feel detached from it. I don't have kids of my own. I would feel mild annoyance at seeing masked children come into the restaurants and bars I frequented in 2020-2021. I wasn't angry at the parents; they were also masked, and they were just doing what the fear and panic propaganda told them to do (and still is to some degree)
My sister was pretty lenient. The youngest niece in 2020 was still living at home, and she went to visit friends. But I know my sister wore a mask, and probably recommended her kids get the vaccine. Back in 2022 at Christmas, she came to visit me with her kids in the previous place I was staying, and the one thing I warned her was "if you have been vaccinated, etc, I don't know what your recommendations are...just please don't get another."
When I was living with them, they knew what I thought of all the ridiculous restrictions and policies. A Thanksgiving was disrupted because of it. And the family was split on the subject. A few libertarians. At one point, one of my sisters-in-law stated, "Well. we will just see how it turns out in the end. But as for me, at least I know I did something out of consideration for others' health."
I held my tongue. This notion that not masking was selfish and killing grandma, as you know, was the common epithet for those "not in this together." Well, it is six years later, and at least in the state of Georgia, most people are not wearing masks...does that mean they hate their grandmothers?
Could it not be that the medical theater of wearing a mask is just that—medical theater?
One thing I will never forget is the niece of a wealthy acquaintance who is a vegan, health freak and Pilates instructor. I know - being a vegan is at odds with being a health freak but what really struck me is that she was fully into the masks and the jabs. I was at a function and overheard her talking about another acquaintance who was unable to go to the Country Club because he had refused the jab and her arrogant comment was something along the lines of "Oh well, I guess it's a lifestyle choice!" I think she had no idea that I had also made the same "lifestyle choice". Even more ironic was the function in question for the funeral of her uncle who had died of a massive heart attack and who would almost certainly have been jabbed not long before that.
Anything but the shot.
Simpatico.
A club none wish to join.
The word depression has been weaponised against us all. My own daughter even announced she was depressed some time ago after learning from a classmate that she was "depressed" and on medication and got special treatment such as not having to attend lessons and eventually switching to a special school. It also allows the government to open a file on you and conveniently label you. Such a record stays with you for life and can be used against you at any point in future. While I understand people can go through terrible life experiences and as a result stop being able to see any pleasure in life, I think it can be a mistake to allow yourself to be labelled as such or think of yourself as such. I'm struggling to put my thoughts into words that make sense but think of it in this way - Where does depression begin and where does it end? How do you know you have gone from just feeling a bit down one day to being depressed and at the other end how do you know you are no longer depressed? So it's not really a thing as such. Better to just look at your life in general and be more specific about the things that you are not happy about. There might be a number of things but don't just lump them together and say "I'm depressed". Evaluate each one and decide what power you have to change them. For those you don't have a solution to, just accept the situation and put them aside for now. A solution may come at some point in future. Or more often is the case, you will look back and realise that it just had to be like that and if you had been able to look back from the future, you would not have wasted any tears or anguish over that particular thing. Hopefully as you go down the list, you will come across some things you can change in some way or another. Your continued participation in things you have lost passion for might be an example of that. But if that doesn't work, try something new instead.
Wanted to include this in my response, but got distracted. Been too busy to send it earlier. I agree that depression along with most other conditions is over diagnosed. That does not mean that depression doesn’t not exist. Kinda a two things being true at the same time. After I decided to leave this comment when I could make time, I learned more about my dad’s situation that is along this line. Will do a full post on it. Shocking.
I can answer your question. First, “I am depressed., is not a statement on depression. Feeling depressed is as natural as feelings of elation and all other emotions. If one is not depressed at the loss of a pet, the end of a friendship or other tragic event they are lacking int the full rage of emotion God has provided for us. Depression is not even the prolonged state of being depressed.
Depression is the lack of emotion. When does it start? When an emotional numbness so complete that it is sublime in its completeness to the extent that it transcends all, depression reigns. When beauty is not beautiful, when ugliness is not ugly, when humor is not funny, when the disgusting is no longer disgusting, when the offensive cannot offend, when Joyfulness brings no joy, when hatred directed at you can do no more damage than that already suffered, when extensions of a friend’s love cannot reach your heart, depression has seized you. I am not fully there but have been bouncing across the border and back. Knowing, at least to the extent that I do, whatever that is, has armed with a few tools to mount a defense, not without success. Recurring bouts of sobbing as I call out for my son and dad inform me that I have not been fully taken yet.
I guess what I was trying to say in my usual clumsy way was not to fall into the trap set by those who want to control and manipulate you by seeing depression as some defined external force way beyond your control that you need help to cure, but rather to recognise it for what it is and own it and then deal with it in your own way.
I have not been diagnosed as having depression. I would not go to anyone for such a thing. I understand what is going on with me and “own” it, as you say. Not the same with my son. I doubt very much that he has depression. He has no lack of interest in the things he likes, no lack in the expression of emotions, none of the tell tale signs. He may very well be depressed, given what he has gone through these past 6 years. And, may be suffering from depression for the same reason, though I doubt it given his behavior. But I am powerless to do anything, especially as he has been on medication for a month or more.
How did you find out? Did your son tell you about the depression diagnosis? What is the proposed treatment for the depression?
Yes, he told me. He said that as long as he takes his medicine, all will be well. Yet, he misses his morning classes because he cannot get up in time for them.
Anti-depression medicine? That is bad news. Many of those drugs are known to be additive and have serious side effects. I suppose you have no say so about that.
I know and he has been on them for over a month and I just learned of it tonight.
I do not truly think anything has necessarily worsened with regard to your son's condition despite a facile diagnosis. It occurs to me that, having blamed you for everything, your ex-wife now sees that your absence has not improved your son's behavior and she has to face the fact that he needs help she cannot provide.
After her parenting failures, and refusal to act jointly with you to raise your son properly, it may be a very good thing that she has, in seeking help for your son, admitted there are very serious problems that throwing you out of the house has not "fixed."
I would be most concerned that she does not seek for your son a deceptive pharmaceutical "solution" to his serious behavioral issues. He needs behavioral intervention with realistic expectations for a child deprived of the loving discipline that leads to healthy socialization.
I see that I failed to communicate an important point. The diagnosis was made before I left the house but was kept from me. However, the reality is that she forbade me from executing any parenting role over a year ago, though I did not necessarily go along with this.
She has gone with the meds. She works in big pharma and is a true believer of that religion.
I'm truly sorry to hear this.
My mother taught me the Serenity Prayer when I was a little girl. I hope you're not offended when I say it has comforted me innumerable times when I felt helpless.
I generally prefer the navy version of that prayer, though that is perhaps not appropriate here. “God grant my the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the ordnance to make the difference.”
Made me laugh!
Thanks : )
Oh, no! I feared this as I was reading your essay.