Hair Cut

Is there an actual play book?

After a far too long interval, a suddenly cancelled lesson allowed me to finally get my hair cut. Instead of changing to what was once the “Fun Line” to take me to my apartment, I transferred from the express to the local train for what for 20 years was my station. It was the first time in.... I do not recall. At least 2 months. Longer. It has been 2 months since I have been near the house, past the parks I used play with my son in. That route was taken on foot, bike or car. It has been much longer ago that I last used what was “my station” for two decades. Strange feeling.

I arrived just as my barber was finishing up with another customer. He updated me on his situation and then asked how my son was. For the first time, I told him of my own divorce. He inquired why and I almost said for the same reasons his wife gave him. Instead, I just laid out the details and he repeatedly exclaimed, “The same.!”, or, “Just as with me!.”

He and I are the same age. Our exes are the same age as each other. We both had to keep our divorces secret from our children as they were studying for entrance exams, his for college, mine for jr. High school. We both divorced in March this year. Both of our ex wives acknowledge that we did not do anything wrong and that the reason for throwing us out like trash is because they were just tired of living with us. We and our stuff were in the way. Both he and I lost most of our incomes due to the panic. Both of our wives became furious over our inabilities to continue financial support while ignoring what we continued to foot the bill for despite losing our incomes and the non financial support we gave our families. Both of us were thrown out only after exhausting our savings supporting our families. Thus, we both received a cash settlement from our ex wives after threats from our exes to take us to court.

He asked if I hated my ex. I told him that I missed the woman I married but that she no longer exists. This prompted comparing the progression from the lovely women we married over twenty years ago to the unrecognizable entities they metamorphosed into. In earlier discussions he wondered if age, menopause, played a role, as some of you have suggested. Yesterday he asked if my ex got the clot shot. We are both of the belief that the shot plays a role as the changes for the worst accelerated after each took the shot. The ways our wives began treating us are so perfectly aligned that I suspect they followed an actual play book. I brought up the SNS videos I have seen of Japanese women updating their status, starting off with saying that recently they divorced and looking sad as they said so, then suddenly shouting “But I am happy!” and continuing in a smiling and happy manner. Later, my barber would imitate another one of these announcements that I too have seen, perfectly. I had wanted to bring up the fact that my ex took my son from me has me angry beyond words towards her, but the perfectly aligned actions and words of our wives leading up to them throwing us out took precedence in our discussion and I didn’t. That is the big difference between us, his son chose to live with him and mine won’t even check my messages to him.

My wife’s decision is a bit more baffling. She kicked me out leaving just her to look after a troubled preteen who will soon enter puberty, and soon her elderly parents who have health issues and four cats, all by herself. After sharing this, my barber asked if my ex had a new man. I don’t think so but don’t know. Then I asked, if she did, would he be willing to help her with all this? We expect he would escape from such responsibilities suddenly thrust upon him. As a husband, I had signed up for such an eventuality, but would someone else accept such for someone they only recently met and towards people they haven’t known for decades or since birth? Not my problem.