I honestly don't know what to say to you, as I am not family, and not a friend, just a friendly stranger.
My empathy cannot sustain you, nor give you real strength, although if I could, I would give you a big warm hug and the assurance that you're not alone.
It is the worst I have experienced thus far. Worse than my pets dying when I was a kid. Worse than the losses of my grandparents. Worse than a called off engagement, worse than my divorce and worse than the untimely death of my father, as horrible as each of those were/are to varying degrees.
I'm so very sorry to read about this grievous reversal of expectations.
Please forgive me for saying so, especially since I 'bit my tongue' numerous times in the past in an effort not to disparage your now ex-wife... but I cannot help placing the blame on her negative influence. Whatever her feelings for you may be, it is her duty to encourage your son's ongoing relationship with you. Even in the unlikely situation that it is your son himself who says he doesn't want to spend time with you, she should impress upon him that he made plans with you and has a responsibility to honor that commitment.
My lingering recollection is that all was well between you and your son until you took him home after your most recent outing together. And that, after he disappeared upstairs where his mother was, things changed. Somethings tells me it was not his own idea to change the litter box and delay his return downstairs to you that evening.
I'm still pondering what I would do in your current situation. If any reasonable ideas occur to me, I will send them along.
There is currently nothing that can be done. The ball is in his court. I shall continue to message him over Teams, but if he does not read them or respond, that’s it.
No, I think you are spot on. The last year has been hell in part because when my son disrespected me, preexwife wore a grin the likes of which I had never seen upon her face. She thoroughly enjoyed it. I doubt she punishes him if he is respectful to ears me, though she may by being cold towards him when he is, but I do believe she rewards him when he is.
I honestly don't know what to say to you, as I am not family, and not a friend, just a friendly stranger.
My empathy cannot sustain you, nor give you real strength, although if I could, I would give you a big warm hug and the assurance that you're not alone.
I have no idea how hard it must be when your own son goes silent on you.
There will be and are consequences to this as he has previously agreed and then renegged on it. It shows that he can't be relied upon.
It is the worst I have experienced thus far. Worse than my pets dying when I was a kid. Worse than the losses of my grandparents. Worse than a called off engagement, worse than my divorce and worse than the untimely death of my father, as horrible as each of those were/are to varying degrees.
I'm so very sorry to read about this grievous reversal of expectations.
Please forgive me for saying so, especially since I 'bit my tongue' numerous times in the past in an effort not to disparage your now ex-wife... but I cannot help placing the blame on her negative influence. Whatever her feelings for you may be, it is her duty to encourage your son's ongoing relationship with you. Even in the unlikely situation that it is your son himself who says he doesn't want to spend time with you, she should impress upon him that he made plans with you and has a responsibility to honor that commitment.
My lingering recollection is that all was well between you and your son until you took him home after your most recent outing together. And that, after he disappeared upstairs where his mother was, things changed. Somethings tells me it was not his own idea to change the litter box and delay his return downstairs to you that evening.
I'm still pondering what I would do in your current situation. If any reasonable ideas occur to me, I will send them along.
There is currently nothing that can be done. The ball is in his court. I shall continue to message him over Teams, but if he does not read them or respond, that’s it.
No, I think you are spot on. The last year has been hell in part because when my son disrespected me, preexwife wore a grin the likes of which I had never seen upon her face. She thoroughly enjoyed it. I doubt she punishes him if he is respectful to ears me, though she may by being cold towards him when he is, but I do believe she rewards him when he is.